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The secret diary of a little girl who sometimes believed she could be a Princess too..
I watched through the corner of my eye, as the ‘Princess’ distributed her birthday invites in the class. I had heard how the last year’s party was themed on ‘Treasure Island’. I wondered what it would be this year. Hmmm.. And yes, all the girls received their invites and were giggling excitedly all day long. Only three boys were invited, and even they were whispering about the party during classes. Phsaw! As if a birthday party was such a big event after all. It is silly!
Math class. I muddled with my numbers as usual. I honestly do not understand why we need to learn Trigonometry?! I mean, does anybody even use it? What a waste of time. Everybody laughed when I couldn’t answer the question. But then! Who cares? This isn’t what I want to pursue in Life! I want to be a dancer. A ‘famous’ one. Mummy says I will be ‘popular with clients’.
I think what she means is ‘Famous with a lot of fans’. She isn’t very educated, you see. She has not studied much, so she says she cannot even find a regular day-job like the Mummies of my classmates. So she works from home.
Gosh! Anu has been struck with chicken pox. The entire class is afraid now. Mummy says I had not been vaccinated against it when I was a baby. I asked her ‘Why?’. ‘None of your business!’ she retorted sharply.
The girls in my class say they have had the vaccination, but it could still strike them. And then, their face would be covered with dark spots and it would look awful at Rhea’s birthday party. Personally, I couldn’t have asked for more ;-) They deserve this, all of them. And guess what? The theme is ‘Disney Princesses’. Isn’t that silly? I think they are way too old to be ‘Princesses’. Nevertheless, I guess it is quite interesting.
It is official. Five girls are down with the pox now. Today is Friday, and the hot topic was ‘will the birthday party be called off?’ Not that it matters much to me, but I wouldn’t be too sad if it is After all, I wasn’t invited.
Mummy says I need to learn dancing. I am excited, of course. I really want to learn ballet. But she wants to teach me Salsa, as it is a very ‘in thing’. I wonder why! She said in her days, she used to do some other weird-sounding stuff called ‘mujra’. I don’t think I have a choice, anyway, but yes, I would be very happy to dance
My first dance class lasted about an hour. And boy! My body aches a little. I did not like the way my teacher kept sliding his hands down my back and breathing into my face! He needs a mouthwash! *Giggles* But Mummy says I need to master salsa, as it is very popular. Well then, I will do it!
I’m a big girl now, I turn 12 this month end, you know? The strange thing is, I share my birthday with ‘Princess Rhea’.
I cannot invite them, though. Mummy says they won’t come. When I asked ‘Why ever not?’ she laughed and said ‘Because they think I’m ‘dangerous’’. I have never heard anyone say so, in the last four schools that I have been to! Mummy is just beautiful, not ‘dangerous’!
It is a pity though, that she does not allow me to invite my friends home. They do not invite me either. The only people who come to my home are the other pretty Aunties and fat Uncles who smile inanely at me before Mummy shoos me off to my little room in the attic.
My body aches very slightly, from the dance. But my teacher says I’m a natural!! I don’t like the look of him, though.
Nevertheless, Mummy is so happy she has bought me a new salwar kameez for my birthday next week. It is a peacock blue, with red chiffon dupatta – and it is studded with little diamonds. She says it is befitting of a ‘Princess’ like me. She says I can wear this on Friday night, for the movie.
Didn’t I tell you about the movie thing? Mummy has booked a ‘private box’ for us, to celebrate my birthday! She, me and the new Uncle. Just the three of us. There’s going to be a huge pack of butter popcorn, chocolate cake slices, buttery sweet corn, and Pepsi
I love Mummy. And do you know a secret? ‘Mummy’ is actually my mum’s sister. I never knew my mum. My real one, I mean. She died when I was really young. But this Mummy looks after me like a Princess :-) You know, I go to one of the best schools here. Mummy works so hard for me.
But she says ‘Darling, you are a worth-while investment’. I love it when she calls me ‘Darling’.
I do not like the dark streets where we live. I feel a little scared sometimes. Especially when the men try to grab my hand as I rush past them, on my way to the bus-stop.
Mummy is so beautiful. But most of the men on the street call ‘me’ princess instead. They need to check their spectacles properly!!
I think I am just an ‘Ugly Duckling’ But then, Mummy says I am becoming very beautiful these days. And that everything is going to change soon
I am so lucky to have her!
Boy oh boy! I hate Mondays!! Math, History, Science… gets me, really! The only subject I like is English. I think I will be a famous writer when I grow up. I might just write about Princesses
Mummy says if I am a ‘good girl’ on Friday, the new Uncle has promised to buy me a new pink laptop. Woo hoo!
Oh, and there’s some spicy news. Something I have been secretly pleased about all day. ‘Princess’ Rhea’s birthday party may not take place after all!! Nine of the girls are now down with the Pox, and everyone else is worried they will ‘catch it’ too. Well, I, for one, am not affected, as I will have my private party anyway
Guess what? Guess, guess, guess!!!!
I got invited to Princess Rhea’s birthday party!!! ‘Come if you like’, she shrugged as she said it. But she really wants me to come, I know. Even though she ignores me during classes and even in the canteen, she still wants to be my friend :-) I am so excited. I need to buy a nice BIG gift for her.
Mummy has so many friends! The women are in awe of her, and the men really admire her. I want to be just like her!
Dance practice has started during the week days too! It is tough. And it leaves me no time for my home-work. But it makes Mummy happy. Mummy says, if I am a ‘good girl’ on Friday, she will give me LOTS of money to buy a huge gift for Rhea. Mummy will buy us both a big box of ‘foreign’ cosmetics. The new Uncle is returning from Singapore tomorrow night, and she will ask him to bring it from there.
Gosh! Whoever thought all this would happen!! Usually, nobody talks to me at school. Except Ramu anna, of course. But then, he is the canteen boy, so when I ask him for something that isn’t on the menu, he has to reply
Anyway, now, here I am – a proud ‘invitee’ to the Princess’s party…. excited owner of a bejewelled chiffon dress. And the happy would-be owner of a big foreign cosmetics case
I feel like a Princess myself
School was so much fun today. I was allowed to have lunch at the same table with the Princess and her friends. They didn’t talk much to me, but all the same, they didn’t ignore me either. So that’s a really good sign. They have all bought gifts for Rhea.
I have decided to keep mine a secret. I will stun them on the day :-) Mummy says she will find out if Uncle can drop me at Rhea’s party on Sunday and even bring me back in his luxury car!
By the way, something interesting happened at school today. There is a new subject called ‘Sex education’. It was so yuck! I can’t believe men and women do ‘that’! The boys were smirking right through the class. Many of the girls covered their mouth and giggled. I copied them. But I thought it was all really gross.
When I told Mummy, she just laughed and said ‘You’re a big girl now. It’s time for you to know, anyway!’
11-Jun-10 – am
EXCITED! Today’s my big day. I’m off to school now, but Mummy says she will send the car to fetch me at noon itself. She has planned to take me to the ‘Spa’ :-) I am so lucky, aren’t I? I bet even Princess Rhea doesn’t get pampered so by her handsome Dad! He’s a film star, by the way. Did I mention that before? And he has some really cool friends, and they have really cool cars and all that. They are all supposed to be ‘shooting’ for a film in Singapore this week. It seems he has actually flown back in his private luxury jet last night, just in time for her birthday party! How awesome is that!!
11-Jun-10 – noon
No time!! Got to rush!! Off to the Spa now. Then I have to deck up in my gorgeous new outfit. And head to the cinema from there. Mummy did not mention which movie it is. I bet it is the new Hritik Roshan one. She knows how much I adore him!! Oooh, I am so excited!! Mummy reminded me twice that I must impress Uncle today! ‘Make him happy, and our life will change forever’! Ofcourse I will. My poor Mummy. She is so stressed with taking care of all of us. I will be ‘a good girl’ tonight. I promise!!
11-Jun-10 – pm
‘Happy Birthday to me’. I did not go to Princess Rhea’s birthday party. I feel sore. Every time I try to get out of bed, I feel like throwing up.
I am still bleeding.
Mummy says there is nothing to worry about. She wants me to get back to school and resume dance practice soon.
But it still hurts all over.. thighs.. lips…everything.
I did not go to school today either. I feel so Dirty!
Mummy is furious. She says I must have more respect for ‘our’ profession.
But I haven’t actually chosen my profession yet. Or have I?!!!
P.S: I do not feel like calling her ‘Mummy’ any more. Am I being ungrateful?
Mummy dragged me out of my bed today, and said I must ‘look after myself’. She says she cannot feed me for the rest of my Life. She says Uncle is going to visit this Friday too.
She says he is ‘our most desirable client’ and that I should be grateful that he flew back in his private jet to meet me last week.
I hate him. And his friends. And her.
I told her that. She just laughed. ‘Your mother said the same thing! Avoided my high-profile clients. And look where she landed. Contracted the disease and went to her grave. Atleast you have some sense. This is far more than you can ever dream of’.
For the first time in my life, I miss my real Mummy. If she were alive, she would have taken me far away from this hell.
Actually, I do not know any more.
Friday mid-night again. Did I tell you? ‘Uncle’ does look so much like Princess Rhea’s daddy. He looks old, from up close. He is bad at doing the Salsa. And he’s not so handsome, after all.
But he’s really very heavy. And rough. He hurts me so much. Even when I cry, he does not stop. It is very strange. The more I cry, the louder he seems to laugh.
I hear him promising his friends, that it will be their turn soon. They guffaw aloud. Mummy joins them. I want to die.
I have to go. He is calling for me again. ‘Stop hiding, my Princess of the Dark’.
Do read posts of my fellow TIGERS, aka Team-mates, here:
Debs again: http://debosmita.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/destinys-child/