Princess of the Dark


Team This post has been published by me as a team member of Tiger Trails Team for the SUPER 5 round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event in the history of blogging world. To catch the BPL action and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai

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The secret diary of a little girl who sometimes believed she could be a Princess too..

01-Jun-10

I watched through the corner of my eye, as the ‘Princess’ distributed her birthday invites in the class. I had heard how the last year’s party was themed on ‘Treasure Island’. I wondered what it would be this year. Hmmm.. And yes, all the girls received their invites and were giggling excitedly all day long. Only three boys were invited, and even they were whispering about the party during classes. Phsaw! As if a birthday party was such a big event after all. It is silly!

02-Jun-10

Math class. I muddled with my numbers as usual. I honestly do not understand why we need to learn Trigonometry?! I mean, does anybody even use it? What a waste of time. Everybody laughed when I couldn’t answer the question. But then! Who cares? This isn’t what I want to pursue in Life! I want to be a dancer. A ‘famous’ one. Mummy says I will be ‘popular with clients’.

I think what she means is ‘Famous with a lot of fans’. She isn’t very educated, you see. She has not studied much, so she says she cannot even find a regular day-job like the Mummies of my classmates. So she works from home.

03-Jun-10

Gosh! Anu has been struck with chicken pox. The entire class is afraid now. Mummy says I had not been vaccinated against it when I was a baby. I asked her ‘Why?’. ‘None of your business!’ she retorted sharply.

The girls in my class say they have had the vaccination, but it could still strike them. And then, their face would be covered with dark spots and it would look awful at Rhea’s birthday party. Personally, I couldn’t have asked for more ;-) They deserve this, all of them. And guess what? The theme is ‘Disney Princesses’. Isn’t that silly? I think they are way too old to be ‘Princesses’. Nevertheless, I guess it is quite interesting.

04-Jun-10

It is official. Five girls are down with the pox now. Today is Friday, and the hot topic was ‘will the birthday party be called off?’ Not that it matters much to me, but I wouldn’t be too sad if it is ;-) After all, I wasn’t invited.

Mummy says I need to learn dancing. I am excited, of course. I really want to learn ballet. But she wants to teach me Salsa, as it is a very ‘in thing’. I wonder why! She said in her days, she used to do some other weird-sounding stuff called ‘mujra’. I don’t think I have a choice, anyway, but yes, I would be very happy to dance :-)

05-Jun-10

My first dance class lasted about an hour. And boy! My body aches a little. I did not like the way my teacher kept sliding his hands down my back and breathing into my face! He needs a mouthwash! *Giggles* But Mummy says I need to master salsa, as it is very popular. Well then, I will do it!

I’m a big girl now, I turn 12 this month end, you know? The strange thing is, I share my birthday with ‘Princess Rhea’.

My classmates do not know this, but I am going to have a ‘private’ party too!

I cannot invite them, though. Mummy says they won’t come. When I asked ‘Why ever not?’ she laughed and said ‘Because they think I’m ‘dangerous’’. I have never heard anyone say so, in the last four schools that I have been to! Mummy is just beautiful, not ‘dangerous’!

It is a pity though, that she does not allow me to invite my friends home. They do not invite me either. The only people who come to my home are the other pretty Aunties and fat Uncles who smile inanely at me before Mummy shoos me off to my little room in the attic.

 

06-Jun-10

My body aches very slightly, from the dance. But my teacher says I’m a natural!! I don’t like the look of him, though.

Nevertheless, Mummy is so happy she has bought me a new salwar kameez for my birthday next week. It is a peacock blue, with red chiffon dupatta – and it is studded with little diamonds. She says it is befitting of a ‘Princess’ like me. She says I can wear this on Friday night, for the movie.

Didn’t I tell you about the movie thing? Mummy has booked a ‘private box’ for us, to celebrate my birthday! She, me and the new Uncle. Just the three of us. There’s going to be a huge pack of butter popcorn, chocolate cake slices, buttery sweet corn, and Pepsi :-)

I love Mummy. And do you know a secret? ‘Mummy’ is actually my mum’s sister. I never knew my mum. My real one, I mean. She died when I was really young. But this Mummy looks after me like a Princess :-) You know, I go to one of the best schools here. Mummy works so hard for me.

But she says ‘Darling, you are a worth-while investment’. I love it when she calls me ‘Darling’.

I do not like the dark streets where we live. I feel a little scared sometimes. Especially when the men try to grab my hand as I rush past them, on my way to the bus-stop.

Mummy is so beautiful. But most of the men on the street call ‘me’ princess instead. They need to check their spectacles properly!!

I think I am just an ‘Ugly Duckling’ :-( But then, Mummy says I am becoming very beautiful these days. And that everything is going to change soon :-)

I am so lucky to have her!

07-Jun-10

Boy oh boy! I hate Mondays!! Math, History, Science… gets me, really! The only subject I like is English. I think I will be a famous writer when I grow up. I might just write about Princesses :-)

Mummy says if I am a ‘good girl’ on Friday, the new Uncle has promised to buy me a new pink laptop. Woo hoo!

Oh, and there’s some spicy news. Something I have been secretly pleased about all day. ‘Princess’ Rhea’s birthday party may not take place after all!! Nine of the girls are now down with the Pox, and everyone else is worried they will ‘catch it’ too. Well, I, for one, am not affected, as I will have my private party anyway :-)

08-Jun-10

Guess what? Guess, guess, guess!!!!

I got invited to Princess Rhea’s birthday party!!! ‘Come if you like’, she shrugged as she said it. But she really wants me to come, I know. Even though she ignores me during classes and even in the canteen, she still wants to be my friend :-) I am so excited. I need to buy a nice BIG gift for her.

I know, once she gets to know the real me, we will become best friends, after all.

Mummy has so many friends! The women are in awe of her, and the men really admire her. I want to be just like her!

09-Jun-10

Dance practice has started during the week days too! It is tough. And it leaves me no time for my home-work. But it makes Mummy happy. Mummy says, if I am a ‘good girl’ on Friday, she will give me LOTS of money to buy a huge gift for Rhea. Mummy will buy us both a big box of ‘foreign’ cosmetics. The new Uncle is returning from Singapore tomorrow night, and she will ask him to bring it from there.

Gosh! Whoever thought all this would happen!! Usually, nobody talks to me at school. Except Ramu anna, of course. But then, he is the canteen boy, so when I ask him for something that isn’t on the menu, he has to reply ;-)

Anyway, now, here I am – a proud ‘invitee’ to the Princess’s party…. excited owner of a bejewelled chiffon dress. And the happy would-be owner of a big foreign cosmetics case :-)

I feel like a Princess myself ;-)

10-Jun-10

School was so much fun today. I was allowed to have lunch at the same table with the Princess and her friends. They didn’t talk much to me, but all the same, they didn’t ignore me either. So that’s a really good sign. They have all bought gifts for Rhea.

I have decided to keep mine a secret. I will stun them on the day :-) Mummy says she will find out if Uncle can drop me at Rhea’s party on Sunday and even bring me back in his luxury car!

By the way, something interesting happened at school today. There is a new subject called ‘Sex education’. It was so yuck! I can’t believe men and women do ‘that’! The boys were smirking right through the class. Many of the girls covered their mouth and giggled. I copied them. But I thought it was all really gross.

When I told Mummy, she just laughed and said ‘You’re a big girl now. It’s time for you to know, anyway!’

11-Jun-10 – am

EXCITED! Today’s my big day. I’m off to school now, but Mummy says she will send the car to fetch me at noon itself. She has planned to take me to the ‘Spa’ :-) I am so lucky, aren’t I? I bet even Princess Rhea doesn’t get pampered so by her handsome Dad! He’s a film star, by the way. Did I mention that before? And he has some really cool friends, and they have really cool cars and all that. They are all supposed to be ‘shooting’ for a film in Singapore this week. It seems he has actually flown back in his private luxury jet last night, just in time for her birthday party! How awesome is that!!

 11-Jun-10 – noon

No time!! Got to rush!! Off to the Spa now. Then I have to deck up in my gorgeous new outfit. And head to the cinema from there. Mummy did not mention which movie it is. I bet it is the new Hritik Roshan one. She knows how much I adore him!! Oooh, I am so excited!! Mummy reminded me twice that I must impress Uncle today! ‘Make him happy, and our life will change forever’! Ofcourse I will. My poor Mummy. She is so stressed with taking care of all of us. I will be ‘a good girl’ tonight. I promise!!

11-Jun-10 – pm

No entry.

12-Jun-10

No entry.

13-Jun-10

‘Happy Birthday to me’. I did not go to Princess Rhea’s birthday party. I feel sore. Every time I try to get out of bed, I feel like throwing up.

 14-Jun-10

No entry.

15-Jun-10

I am still bleeding.

Mummy says there is nothing to worry about. She wants me to get back to school and resume dance practice soon.

But it still hurts all over.. thighs.. lips…everything.

16-Jun-10

I did not go to school today either. I feel so Dirty!

Mummy is furious. She says I must have more respect for ‘our’ profession.

But I haven’t actually chosen my profession yet. Or have I?!!!

P.S: I do not feel like calling her ‘Mummy’ any more. Am I being ungrateful?

17-Jun-10

Mummy dragged me out of my bed today, and said I must ‘look after myself’. She says she cannot feed me for the rest of my Life. She says Uncle is going to visit this Friday too.

She says he is ‘our most desirable client’ and that I should be grateful that he flew back in his private jet to meet me last week.

I hate him. And his friends. And her.

I told her that. She just laughed. ‘Your mother said the same thing! Avoided my high-profile clients. And look where she landed. Contracted the disease and went to her grave. Atleast you have some sense. This is far more than you can ever dream of’.

For the first time in my life, I miss my real Mummy. If she were alive, she would have taken me far away from this hell.

Or….would she?!

Actually, I do not know any more.

18-Jun-10

Friday mid-night again. Did I tell you? ‘Uncle’ does look so much like Princess Rhea’s daddy. He looks old, from up close. He is bad at doing the Salsa. And he’s not so handsome, after all.

But he’s really very heavy. And rough. He hurts me so much. Even when I cry, he does not stop. It is very strange. The more I cry, the louder he seems to laugh.

He says I am delicious. That’s stupid, for a man his age. Only cakes or pastries can be called ‘delicious’. I cannot stop wondering how Princess Rhea’s birthday cake had tasted. Delicious???!!

I hear him promising his friends, that it will be their turn soon. They guffaw aloud. Mummy joins them. I want to die.

I have to go. He is calling for me again. ‘Stop hiding, my Princess of the Dark’.

 

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Do read posts of my fellow TIGERS, aka Team-mates, here:

Neha: http://www.nehasilam.com/2010/06/adult-education-english-lessons.html
Saurabh: http://stuffilearnttoday.blogspot.com/2010/06/12-commandments.html
Debs: http://debosmita.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/graduation-ceremony-fiction-55/
Debs again: http://debosmita.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/destinys-child/
Sudhakar: http://idlivadasambar.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/hey-there-you-idiot/
Arpita: http://soulrenaissance.blogspot.com/2010/06/with-love-to-mankind.html
Kanagu: http://kanaguonline.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/education-equality-and-excellence/

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71 thoughts on “Princess of the Dark

  1. That was amazing! IT kept me engrossed all the way through. You have captured the child’s character really well…I could ‘hear’ her voice all through the story! It was heartbreaking. Good luck wiht BPL! :)

    Thank you, PB. It is such a sad situation, when kids are so thoroughly deprived of their golden childhood :-(

  2. Gosh !!! That was superbly written and it’s such a refreshing way of writing it. It started off reading like Diary of a wimpy kid(which I love, btw) and then got more and more serious.

    Great Job, Pal :)

    Thank you, Pummy. LOL @ ‘wimpy kid’. That is exactly what I was trying to portray! Poor kids, though :-(

  3. Wow is the word. The character progression was brilliant Pal. It was absolutely wonderfully written. The cute beginning, to the painful end, and you kept the reader hooked through all that. Super. Go Tiger…

    Thank u thank u so much, King :-)

  4. Moved me thoroughly! Engrossing read…. You notched it completely!

    Thank you, Guria. But I absolutely LOVED your post. It was so disturbingly vivid and left a deep impression.

  5. Brilliant, Pals..absolutely brilliant! the first person narration made the story even more touching & heartrending!

    Good luck for the contest, Pals :)

    Thanks, Deeps. I think anybody who attempted (wrote or read) this particular topic would remain depressed for some time :-(

  6. It was brilliant. Just b.r.i.l.l.i.a.n.t.
    You drove me to depression, woman! That’s how good it was!
    Good luck for the contest!!!!

    Thank you, Scorpia. Before I started writing the post, I looked up some videos from Youtube on child prostitution and it was just SO depressing. I am wondering, if we can actually DO something to help these little chilren.

  7. Excellent portrayal. I especially liked the 11-Jun-10 – pm no entry part. Reminded me of Bollywood days of olden times when they used to show this kind of things in a symbolic way. Sometimes things unsaid are more powerful than what is said.

    Thank you so much, Karthik.

  8. God! I am feeling so low after reading this one. Painful! Thatz a compliment Pal!
    Hw I wish innocent girls dnt get trapped into all this :(

    Gud luck Pal :)

    Gosh, am I writing such dark and depressing stuff these days… not good at all.. Let me think of something humourous for my next post :-) Thank you, btw, Swaram

    1. @ Lavy: Thank u my dear .. God knows how many children have to undergo this….

      @ Vimmu: Thank you. U liked this one the most??

  9. Pal, That was such a gripping read. I was hanging on every word! You know, there must be so many girls going through this very sort of life.. Sold into a ‘profession’ before they even knew about the birds and the bees.. By their mothers or sisters or whatever.. You have written it so well.. The childlike joy of the girl, replaced with sadness, hopelessness and having no will to live..

    That was absolutely mind-blowing! One of your best, Pals!

    All the best for the contest!

    1. Thank you, Smitha. It is so depressing even to think of such things, right? Poor children…. :-( And thank you for SO generous a compliment.

    1. Yes, LP. This is certainly one of the ‘truths’ our society has to be ashamed of!! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment :-)

  10. An interesting read. Especially the way it was written – broken down in small portions, exactly like a little girl would do; and keeping up the pace all the time. Brilliant.

    Thank you so much, Rakesh!!

  11. Pal, am dumbstuck with shock…with tears…OMG !!! A simple diary entry can be so forceful…OMG !!! Pal, its such a cruel life out there…feel terribly sad for those helpless little girls… :(

    But, you were brilliant…the way you’ve written is just fantastic. :) Hugs to you !!! :)

    Thank you so much, Uma. I know, one really feels sad to read such things… I really want to DO something for such children now.. have to think this through really well.

  12. Well written, Pal. You should have quite a collection of stories by now……time for an anthology?

    And best of luck!

    Quirky Indian

    Thank you, Quirky! ‘Anthology’… you are being way too generous now ;-)

      1. Awwww…girls, all I need to pep myself up, is read your sweet comments :-) Thank you Deeps. But seriously, I have a LOOOOOONG way to go :-)

  13. Wow Pal..u write such touching stories with so much ease..must take tips from u..very well written,
    Thank you for your kind words Pushy :-)

    this theme brought back many memories…I once had a MR child of a prostitute as a student, he was boy, severe MR and dumb, it was long ago, I always wonder what happened to him but don’t know how to find him, but am glad he was a boy, a dumb girl would have endured so much more hardship…..
    Pushpee
    Definitely, a girl child has to face so much more hardship than a boy. But unfortunately, times are changing and even boy children are not spared by the increasing number of perverts around. :-(

  14. very nicely told Pal, How u do it? So very engrossing and sad… this theme brought back so many memories for me, I once had a dumb and MR, sweet child of a prostitute as my student. He was four years old then and I had taught him to talk few words, would hug him for every achievement and encourage him by bribing him with sweets. I always wonder what ever happened to him but don’t know how to find him, reading ur story, I sometimes think what his life would have been if he was not a boy….

    Thank you Pushy. Your anecdote brought tears to my eyes… poor child and poor mother too. And God bless people like YOU who care to help.

  15. If I imagine, all I feel is pained. It’s really sad! It gives me enough strength that life isn’t bad after all! It’s disheartening to read but it’s a bitter truth afterall for some!

    May God protect them, is all I can pray!

    Pal- A beautiful entry…in fact a very very touching one!! :) All the best to you!

    1. Dew, thank you so much for your comment. I hope the God who is watching over everyone, has mercy towards ALL children, so they can enjoy a ‘happy’ childhood and that turns them into confident and happy individuals.

  16. Its really painful and sad pals… But thats the truth too :(
    This is the 3rd time i am reading this from the draft version and its really engrossing pals… Excellent :)

    Thanks so much, Kanagu!!! And your post turned out really well in the end :-)

  17. I really dont know what to say..It was really a tragic ending :(
    But i must say your writeup was excellent Pal..I salute u!

    post a happy story next time ok :) This one is so sad :(
    I need a happpy storyyyy soon :)

    I know, I’ve been writing SUCH sad stuff in the last couple of posts. The next one will certainly be happy ;-) Thank you, btw, KB for your most generous compliment!!

  18. Pal, you already know how I feel about it. It is one of the most engrossing and hard-hitting fiction I have read in recent times. The diary format gives an insight into the mind of the girl and I could really feel her journey from child-like innocence to the cruel loss of it. Loved it.
    Proud to have you as a team member :-) Go, Tiger!

    Wow, Debs, that is some compliment… I can’t thank you enough.. still, Thank You :-) Hope we make it to the next round ;-)

  19. Pal, good you did not execute my idea and went ahead with yours instead..first draft was amazing, second draft was a masterpiece and the final draft is a legend..hugs Darling.. I am in TT because of you only :)

    1. Awww……….so cute!! Your comments always bring a BIIIIG smile to my face :-) Thank u Neha, and as you already know, the feeling is mutual :-) Let’s start up a MAC (Mutual Admiration Club), what say?

  20. This was amazing. Everybody has already said how gripping and nerve racking it was… and the saddest part is we can’t convince ourselves that this is just fiction.

    Best wishes for the contest.

  21. wow.. what a story .. you know it makes me feel how much i have to learn and know.. ITs writers like you who really stretch th boundaries with such articles..

    very well done ..

    all the best for contest.. I actually read this twice

  22. I’m so late here.. I wonder how I didn’t read it before !! It’s a heartwrenching tale and kept me totally captivated……all throughout!! You weave magic thru your words my dahling….. just WOW !! :)

    1. @ Bikram: Thank you so much, that is one of the nicest things anyone has said to me :-) Made my day :-) Thank you!

      @ Urmi: Thanks a TON :-) You are way too generous my dear :-)

      1. No you deserve every single compliment for your writing….you are phenomenal !!

        Gosh, girl, you are toooo kind :-) Thank you, Urmi!!

  23. The narration was simply brilliant. I loved the way you started it with a happy tone, and then there were some blank entries and finally the truth is revealed. I really loved it. All the best for BPL!! :)

    Thank you SO very much, Ava :-)

    1. @ Manna, Thank u SO much…. :-)

      @ Guria, I loved loved loved your post, you know that :-) And thank you girl :-) for your appreciation!!

  24. Congratulations Pal! So delighted to see that you won! I just loved this post! So so so happy for you :) This was such a beautifully written story, Pals.

  25. Apologises :( to have missed this one this entire week Pal!
    U have picturised innocence and horror in words so well and make me throw up at the very thought !!!!

    Very very well written would be an understatement :)
    U are a real writer Madam :)
    Cheers and Congrats :) :)

    1. @ Mamma Mia: Thank you EVER SO MUCH :-) ***blushing***

      @ PnA: Thank you so much, my dear. And to say that ‘you made my day’ would be an understatement too :-)

  26. wow…absolutely engrossing till the end…. Very nice pal.
    Wish no child has a story like this!!!

    Yes Shilpa, but sadly isnt this stark reality :-(

  27. Really engrossing.. no I dont think that is the right word…

    I had an idea where this was heading… and I kept on reading this … hoping you will twist it.. twist it.. twist it… I so so was praying you would…

    I absolutely wish like Shilpa I hope no child has a story like this… !!!!

    Its well written… that goes without saying.. !!

    Sorry for having missed this… Your story does have the reader’s stomach turning… definitely deserving of the award !! :)

    Thank you Bhai :-) You better get back to full time blogging soon :-)

  28. Thank you for visiting my blog-else I would have never come across such a profound story on yours…moved me….felt deeply disturbed by it – powerful storytelling.

    Hey thanks Laxmi :-)

  29. hey..what a piece of good writing…it kept me engrossed all the time..and after finishing it i was totally breathless for some moments with damp eyes..just hope that no child would have to go through this hell..gre at way of story telling..deserve to get award dear..

    Thank you so much, Parul :-)

  30. I had goosebumps when I read this!!! So well written and capturing the whole issue so well!!!

    Seriously I shudder for girls who have to go thru this!!!

    And congrats for the award! This write up deserves every award possible!

    Aww, thank u, thank u so much Smita.

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