Categories
Incidents

Tree Tree Tirty Tree

Officially completed 33 years yesterday, and was completely overwhelmed by the wishes that all of you poured into my FB page 🙂 Danke Danke one and all!!! And since Count Bratula asked for a Cake, here it is… my all-time-fav Black Forest cake….

 

Specially for you!!!

 

I had a great time, folks … made my little kiddo bunk a swimming lesson 😉 and introduced him to some yummy chaat (without spice) 🙂 On the whole had a very nice time. And before you girls ask, my Knight-in-shining-armour gave me a lovely perfume and Kiddo claimed that he drew a heart for me at school. Now I’ll have to find out the truth behind that this Friday, when the teachers give us the kid’s ‘work’.

Cheers 🙂

Categories
Incidents

Birthday-e-bash and more

The week started in a very uneventful manner. Until I logged into Facebook. The walls were flooded with ‘Birthday Wishes’ to our very sweet and popular blogger Swaram. Messages were pouring into Swaram’s profile 🙂 and when Masood said ‘this is a social event’ we realised the event deserved enough coverage 🙂 Then Uma suggested Swaram start an ‘event’. And before the birthday girl could think twice, I started the Event on her behalf 🙂 with this note:

Guys/Girls,
I have butterflies in my stomach as I invite you to attend the glitzy (er, is that a word?) event of our very dear Swaram’s birthday party 🙂 Do come and leave some words behind, esp if you can pull her leg or reveal some interesting secrets or anecdotes 😉 Even otherwise, do come 🙂
From:
All her friends from Blogworld
P.S: Feel free to gate-crash 🙂

And guess what? Within an hour, we had 28 ‘confirmed guests’! Deeps, Vichu, Baisali, Pixie, Uma, PnA, Monu, Padma, Sagarika, Any Excuse to Write, Iya, Ashwini, Trishna, Nupur, Nancy, Rakesh, ChatterBox, Saritha, IHM, Rakesh, Indy, Supriya, Meira and Masood….

It was a rocking party.. Swaram’s birthday wishes and post on her blog spread a lot of excitement around. Guests started pouring in questions, and it was fun to see Swaram answering all of them.

First was a boring question from me: If you were stranded on an island, and had to choose ONE Man to accompany you, who would it be? Please refrain from mentioning names of spouse/parents/siblings/children 🙂

Swaram’s answer: Rahul Dravid

Uma spiced up things a bit with her question: ‘Where would you like to go for your Second Honeymoon ? Why ?’
Swaram’s answer: ‘Mt Everest’
Meira’s response: ‘She said Honeymoon not Pilgrimage, Swathi’
The rest is censored, folks 😉

Rakesh’s san-sani question: ‘Interview Question: Finally all the blogging and commenting paid off when you got the Most Responsive Blogger Award by public voting. How would you have felt if Hitch would’ve got the award instead? 😛 Honest Answer Please!!!’
Swaram: ‘Vimmuuu won it he he he ;)’
Rakesh, however, was not one to take a beating. He persisted with ‘But swar, how did you feel when Vimmu won it and not you? Did you feel like counting all the comments that you’ve posted and showing statistics to the world, how you should’ve won?’
Swaram very diplomatically replied ‘Err he called me and wished me today .. so, no comments ;)’

Meira wanted to know ‘My question: Swaram, Who has presented you with the worst birthday
gift so far??? as it goes…HONEST answer. No diplomatic answers/no for an answer accepted’
The answer was rather anti-climax 😉 ‘ribbons…school ribbons’.

Rakesh bombarded the event with one more question ‘What is the 1 thing that you really want, you’re really praying for, your husband to do for you today without you telling him to? And no, Don’t say – I’d like him to put the toilet seat up before… he he’

The birthday girl – true blooded Venetian – replied ‘That he does not watch Wimbledon or football today and devotes all his time to me ahem ;)’

IHM asked (intelligently, as always): ‘How does it feel, Swaram, to be born on the longest day on the year (21 June) – so you can have the longest birthday? :)’
Swaram: LOL … gives ppl more time to give me some birthday bumps 😛 😛 😛

Pixie threw a tiny bombshell with ‘My question – Whose wishes did you NOT expect?!’
Swaram diplomatically said :’Time pass .. she is a blogger too 🙂 Never thot she wud send such a personal mail @ that 😀 😀 
That very much means I expected all ur wishes 😛 :P’

Sumita: If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? 😀
Hmmmm … that I cn get my grandma bk 😛 😛
I want a vacation to Venice soooooon
Another one .. ice-creams and cakes and chocolates go calorie-free 😛

Well Swaram, we all hope you get your second two wishes as soon as possible 🙂

Deeps Perceptions: Ok heres’ an easy one for you, Swar.. whats the whackiest funniest crackiest joke you’ve ever heard which makes you laugh like crazy even today?? C’mon humour us now!
Swathi Ram Hee hee hee that I am good girl 😛 😛
Deeps Perceptions- seriously,swar..u think thats the funniest joke you’ve heard?? c’mon think hard and give us some real laughs!
Deeps Perceptions- that I asked you to ‘think hard’ can still be considered funnier since you hardly think… bhagooooooo!

Monu: ok what is the weirdest bday wish or present

Now, FB did not allow me to see this answer 😦

Uma’s simple question ‘I’ve one more…Which birthdays were the best for you – the ones before marriage or after marriage ???? u have ever got?’
set a ball rolling in a very interesting direction 😉

Miss Diplomacy replied: ‘After marriage and blogging .. bcoz with parents n family, I nw hv the husband and u guys too 😉 ;)’

Unfortunately the rest of this thread cannot be posted in a public space 😉

Meira got us all laughing with this post: ‘Since the birthday girl is busy, lets all share our hilarious moments with her….
I’l go first. She read my post on my parents’ anniversary and went ahead and wished her parents a ‘happy anniversary’ instead of a ‘happy journey’ :D’

Unfortunately, just when Swaram started opening up with spicy details of ‘Chins’ and ‘Muns’ Facebook had the audacity to Block her from writing on walls!!! This was her farewell post:  ‘FB tells me that I am posting lots of comments and that too very fast…its asking me to enter test code to confirm identity… *rolling my eyes* …this is bad…FB can outcast me like this…

So well, the e-party had to end early!!

But yes, we had a GREAT time 🙂

Oh, and now for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.

Winner of the prestigious ‘Best Interviewer’ trophy. While many of the questions were excellent, we felt the trophy should go to this very persistent interviewer… none other than .. Rakesh!! So congrats, Rakesh! (Hope I got your blog link right!!) Here is your trophy:

Signing off for now, but looking forward to the next e-Party soon 🙂

Cheers all around people!!!

Categories
Short story

Princess of the Dark

Team This post has been published by me as a team member of Tiger Trails Team for the SUPER 5 round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event in the history of blogging world. To catch the BPL action and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai

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The secret diary of a little girl who sometimes believed she could be a Princess too..

01-Jun-10

I watched through the corner of my eye, as the ‘Princess’ distributed her birthday invites in the class. I had heard how the last year’s party was themed on ‘Treasure Island’. I wondered what it would be this year. Hmmm.. And yes, all the girls received their invites and were giggling excitedly all day long. Only three boys were invited, and even they were whispering about the party during classes. Phsaw! As if a birthday party was such a big event after all. It is silly!

02-Jun-10

Math class. I muddled with my numbers as usual. I honestly do not understand why we need to learn Trigonometry?! I mean, does anybody even use it? What a waste of time. Everybody laughed when I couldn’t answer the question. But then! Who cares? This isn’t what I want to pursue in Life! I want to be a dancer. A ‘famous’ one. Mummy says I will be ‘popular with clients’.

I think what she means is ‘Famous with a lot of fans’. She isn’t very educated, you see. She has not studied much, so she says she cannot even find a regular day-job like the Mummies of my classmates. So she works from home.

03-Jun-10

Gosh! Anu has been struck with chicken pox. The entire class is afraid now. Mummy says I had not been vaccinated against it when I was a baby. I asked her ‘Why?’. ‘None of your business!’ she retorted sharply.

The girls in my class say they have had the vaccination, but it could still strike them. And then, their face would be covered with dark spots and it would look awful at Rhea’s birthday party. Personally, I couldn’t have asked for more 😉 They deserve this, all of them. And guess what? The theme is ‘Disney Princesses’. Isn’t that silly? I think they are way too old to be ‘Princesses’. Nevertheless, I guess it is quite interesting.

04-Jun-10

It is official. Five girls are down with the pox now. Today is Friday, and the hot topic was ‘will the birthday party be called off?’ Not that it matters much to me, but I wouldn’t be too sad if it is 😉 After all, I wasn’t invited.

Mummy says I need to learn dancing. I am excited, of course. I really want to learn ballet. But she wants to teach me Salsa, as it is a very ‘in thing’. I wonder why! She said in her days, she used to do some other weird-sounding stuff called ‘mujra’. I don’t think I have a choice, anyway, but yes, I would be very happy to dance 🙂

05-Jun-10

My first dance class lasted about an hour. And boy! My body aches a little. I did not like the way my teacher kept sliding his hands down my back and breathing into my face! He needs a mouthwash! *Giggles* But Mummy says I need to master salsa, as it is very popular. Well then, I will do it!

I’m a big girl now, I turn 12 this month end, you know? The strange thing is, I share my birthday with ‘Princess Rhea’.

My classmates do not know this, but I am going to have a ‘private’ party too!

I cannot invite them, though. Mummy says they won’t come. When I asked ‘Why ever not?’ she laughed and said ‘Because they think I’m ‘dangerous’’. I have never heard anyone say so, in the last four schools that I have been to! Mummy is just beautiful, not ‘dangerous’!

It is a pity though, that she does not allow me to invite my friends home. They do not invite me either. The only people who come to my home are the other pretty Aunties and fat Uncles who smile inanely at me before Mummy shoos me off to my little room in the attic.

 

06-Jun-10

My body aches very slightly, from the dance. But my teacher says I’m a natural!! I don’t like the look of him, though.

Nevertheless, Mummy is so happy she has bought me a new salwar kameez for my birthday next week. It is a peacock blue, with red chiffon dupatta – and it is studded with little diamonds. She says it is befitting of a ‘Princess’ like me. She says I can wear this on Friday night, for the movie.

Didn’t I tell you about the movie thing? Mummy has booked a ‘private box’ for us, to celebrate my birthday! She, me and the new Uncle. Just the three of us. There’s going to be a huge pack of butter popcorn, chocolate cake slices, buttery sweet corn, and Pepsi 🙂

I love Mummy. And do you know a secret? ‘Mummy’ is actually my mum’s sister. I never knew my mum. My real one, I mean. She died when I was really young. But this Mummy looks after me like a Princess 🙂 You know, I go to one of the best schools here. Mummy works so hard for me.

But she says ‘Darling, you are a worth-while investment’. I love it when she calls me ‘Darling’.

I do not like the dark streets where we live. I feel a little scared sometimes. Especially when the men try to grab my hand as I rush past them, on my way to the bus-stop.

Mummy is so beautiful. But most of the men on the street call ‘me’ princess instead. They need to check their spectacles properly!!

I think I am just an ‘Ugly Duckling’ 😦 But then, Mummy says I am becoming very beautiful these days. And that everything is going to change soon 🙂

I am so lucky to have her!

07-Jun-10

Boy oh boy! I hate Mondays!! Math, History, Science… gets me, really! The only subject I like is English. I think I will be a famous writer when I grow up. I might just write about Princesses 🙂

Mummy says if I am a ‘good girl’ on Friday, the new Uncle has promised to buy me a new pink laptop. Woo hoo!

Oh, and there’s some spicy news. Something I have been secretly pleased about all day. ‘Princess’ Rhea’s birthday party may not take place after all!! Nine of the girls are now down with the Pox, and everyone else is worried they will ‘catch it’ too. Well, I, for one, am not affected, as I will have my private party anyway 🙂

08-Jun-10

Guess what? Guess, guess, guess!!!!

I got invited to Princess Rhea’s birthday party!!! ‘Come if you like’, she shrugged as she said it. But she really wants me to come, I know. Even though she ignores me during classes and even in the canteen, she still wants to be my friend 🙂 I am so excited. I need to buy a nice BIG gift for her.

I know, once she gets to know the real me, we will become best friends, after all.

Mummy has so many friends! The women are in awe of her, and the men really admire her. I want to be just like her!

09-Jun-10

Dance practice has started during the week days too! It is tough. And it leaves me no time for my home-work. But it makes Mummy happy. Mummy says, if I am a ‘good girl’ on Friday, she will give me LOTS of money to buy a huge gift for Rhea. Mummy will buy us both a big box of ‘foreign’ cosmetics. The new Uncle is returning from Singapore tomorrow night, and she will ask him to bring it from there.

Gosh! Whoever thought all this would happen!! Usually, nobody talks to me at school. Except Ramu anna, of course. But then, he is the canteen boy, so when I ask him for something that isn’t on the menu, he has to reply 😉

Anyway, now, here I am – a proud ‘invitee’ to the Princess’s party…. excited owner of a bejewelled chiffon dress. And the happy would-be owner of a big foreign cosmetics case 🙂

I feel like a Princess myself 😉

10-Jun-10

School was so much fun today. I was allowed to have lunch at the same table with the Princess and her friends. They didn’t talk much to me, but all the same, they didn’t ignore me either. So that’s a really good sign. They have all bought gifts for Rhea.

I have decided to keep mine a secret. I will stun them on the day 🙂 Mummy says she will find out if Uncle can drop me at Rhea’s party on Sunday and even bring me back in his luxury car!

By the way, something interesting happened at school today. There is a new subject called ‘Sex education’. It was so yuck! I can’t believe men and women do ‘that’! The boys were smirking right through the class. Many of the girls covered their mouth and giggled. I copied them. But I thought it was all really gross.

When I told Mummy, she just laughed and said ‘You’re a big girl now. It’s time for you to know, anyway!’

11-Jun-10 – am

EXCITED! Today’s my big day. I’m off to school now, but Mummy says she will send the car to fetch me at noon itself. She has planned to take me to the ‘Spa’ 🙂 I am so lucky, aren’t I? I bet even Princess Rhea doesn’t get pampered so by her handsome Dad! He’s a film star, by the way. Did I mention that before? And he has some really cool friends, and they have really cool cars and all that. They are all supposed to be ‘shooting’ for a film in Singapore this week. It seems he has actually flown back in his private luxury jet last night, just in time for her birthday party! How awesome is that!!

 11-Jun-10 – noon

No time!! Got to rush!! Off to the Spa now. Then I have to deck up in my gorgeous new outfit. And head to the cinema from there. Mummy did not mention which movie it is. I bet it is the new Hritik Roshan one. She knows how much I adore him!! Oooh, I am so excited!! Mummy reminded me twice that I must impress Uncle today! ‘Make him happy, and our life will change forever’! Ofcourse I will. My poor Mummy. She is so stressed with taking care of all of us. I will be ‘a good girl’ tonight. I promise!!

11-Jun-10 – pm

No entry.

12-Jun-10

No entry.

13-Jun-10

‘Happy Birthday to me’. I did not go to Princess Rhea’s birthday party. I feel sore. Every time I try to get out of bed, I feel like throwing up.

 14-Jun-10

No entry.

15-Jun-10

I am still bleeding.

Mummy says there is nothing to worry about. She wants me to get back to school and resume dance practice soon.

But it still hurts all over.. thighs.. lips…everything.

16-Jun-10

I did not go to school today either. I feel so Dirty!

Mummy is furious. She says I must have more respect for ‘our’ profession.

But I haven’t actually chosen my profession yet. Or have I?!!!

P.S: I do not feel like calling her ‘Mummy’ any more. Am I being ungrateful?

17-Jun-10

Mummy dragged me out of my bed today, and said I must ‘look after myself’. She says she cannot feed me for the rest of my Life. She says Uncle is going to visit this Friday too.

She says he is ‘our most desirable client’ and that I should be grateful that he flew back in his private jet to meet me last week.

I hate him. And his friends. And her.

I told her that. She just laughed. ‘Your mother said the same thing! Avoided my high-profile clients. And look where she landed. Contracted the disease and went to her grave. Atleast you have some sense. This is far more than you can ever dream of’.

For the first time in my life, I miss my real Mummy. If she were alive, she would have taken me far away from this hell.

Or….would she?!

Actually, I do not know any more.

18-Jun-10

Friday mid-night again. Did I tell you? ‘Uncle’ does look so much like Princess Rhea’s daddy. He looks old, from up close. He is bad at doing the Salsa. And he’s not so handsome, after all.

But he’s really very heavy. And rough. He hurts me so much. Even when I cry, he does not stop. It is very strange. The more I cry, the louder he seems to laugh.

He says I am delicious. That’s stupid, for a man his age. Only cakes or pastries can be called ‘delicious’. I cannot stop wondering how Princess Rhea’s birthday cake had tasted. Delicious???!!

I hear him promising his friends, that it will be their turn soon. They guffaw aloud. Mummy joins them. I want to die.

I have to go. He is calling for me again. ‘Stop hiding, my Princess of the Dark’.

 

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Do read posts of my fellow TIGERS, aka Team-mates, here:

Neha: http://www.nehasilam.com/2010/06/adult-education-english-lessons.html
Saurabh: http://stuffilearnttoday.blogspot.com/2010/06/12-commandments.html
Debs: http://debosmita.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/graduation-ceremony-fiction-55/
Debs again: http://debosmita.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/destinys-child/
Sudhakar: http://idlivadasambar.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/hey-there-you-idiot/
Arpita: http://soulrenaissance.blogspot.com/2010/06/with-love-to-mankind.html
Kanagu: http://kanaguonline.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/education-equality-and-excellence/

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Categories
Humour Incidents Thought and Reason

Why I think he’s a baby, and why he isn’t!

Today being the eve of my ‘baby’s’ third birthday, I decide to give him a nice magical movie evening!

So here we are, cuddled on the sofa, watching ‘Aladin and the King of Thieves’.

Me: ‘Baby?’

Baby: Silence

Me: ‘Are you hungry?’

Baby: More silence, mouth open, gaping at Aladin and Jasmine

Me (patience wearing out): ‘BABY! Hungry?’

Baby (finally): ‘But sorry, Amma, I’m watching Aladin.’

Me (gushing about my ‘baby’ talking so much!): ‘Oh shooo shweeeet!’

Baby (without blinking): ‘Is Aladin going to kiss the girl now?’

Me: ????****!!!!!???****

*** Happy Birthday, my dearest little boy! ***