Wordy Wday – Desi girls and some non-sense

To all the ‘innocent folks’ who landed on this page, googling ‘desi girls’ or ‘nonsense’ – you’d be disappointed, so close the window right away.

So my friends, a very boring wordy Wednesday, this.

Spotted this ‘appertisement‘ on a local bus last week, and thought the model looked really really familiar!

And hey! It was our very own Genelia 🙂 I loved the cute characters she played in the Sachin and Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na. Seen it? Seen it?

Isn’t that sweet? Wouldn’t we love to see more Indian actors and actresses in advertisements abroad, even if it was only for  Dabur Vatika!!!

Except Shilpa Shitty Shetty. And Lara Dutta. And the entire Bacchan clan. Pretty please!

And, just when I was thinking how peaceful reel life has been without the presence of the Bacchan family, here comes the announcement that the whole of India  (and apparently, Reuters too) has waited for, with bated breath.

Methinks the only other news that will be a cause of national celebration would be Rahul baba’s wedding. You know, like we could then have our very own ‘Royal Wedding!’

Anyway, its time to celebrate. Ash Rai is pregnant. (Wiki says 1.9 million women get pregnant in India every year). Whatever!!

Now for some more bits of non-sense.

1) The gorgeous LCD Tv-screens at my local Gym continuously air cookery shows at the time people are slogging their a$$ off to burn some calories. Tell me, how can anybody lose weight, when all they see in front of them, is a delicious pie being baked in the oven, or a giant-sized cream cake being readied for a party?!! Ridiculous, if you ask me!!

2) Apparently, actor Abbas’s recent acting venture is.. guess what.. a Harpic ad!! Yaar, he was one of those cool-dudes that every teenage girl in Chennai used to droooool over. Once upon a time. Look how he has fallen! Vaat-ey-pity 😦 And on that note, do read this brilliant blog that I’ve been hooked onto all evening! And for those of you don’t know who Abbas is/was, check this video. That used to be our ideal of ‘being hip and cool‘! (*Shakes head wisely, without knowing whether to laugh or cry – in retrospect, that is!)

3) Watched Karate Kid. Loved it. Absolutely loved it. Every character was brilliant. Realised that Kung Fu is not about ‘fighting’. It is an art. Ahem. But Jackie Chan has grown so old 😦 Didn’t expect that!! And 12-year-olds kissing??? That makes no sense. Not to an old fogie like me!

4) Ah, but that, you see, is what happens in foreign countries. Not in India. Never. We are a culturally rich country. What happens here is this and this. Quite sadly, though, one is not surprised. It makes complete non-sense. But it happens more often that we imagine.

Ok, before I make you feel any more depressed, I shall sign-out with a post scheduled for tomorrow’s Thursday challenge!!

Ta ta!

Oh Goody! – Shilpa Shetty’s USP

So! What guarantees success?

Perfect timing? The right product? Excellent marketing gimmicks? Or some really strong USP?

Marketing gurus like Kotler have written/spoken at length on this topic. And have come up with sound marketing principles. He talks about having the right product, at the right place, right time and with sound promotional tactics.

Today, I would like to present you with a Case study.

Ever since her time in Indian Cinema has come to an end, our great Bollywood actor (the victim of racial attacks, the ‘household name’ in Britain), the ONE AND ONLY Ms.Shilpa Shetty, has been taking the world by storm! In simpler terms, she seems to be raking in the money globally!

The brand ‘Shilpa Shetty’ has come of age! It is internationally recognized, and much famed/touted for various reasons, right and wrong.

Take a peep into some of the things she has been upto:

– The much in-vogue Yoga with Shilpa – I honestly do not know how much she believes in this science or how much she has mastered it! Nor her contribution (if any) to Yoga. However, she has skillfully taken over the role of Brand Ambassador of all things connected to, or even remotely connected to, India.

– Her range of fragrances was a success! I cannot believe why anyone in their senses would want to waste money on something associated with her! Is the NRI population so utterly devoid of its sensibilities, or is the western world taken in by her (lack of) charm?

– Recently, flagging off our Independence Day parade in NY! Isn’t this atrocious? She is NOT the Indian ambassador , and she certainly isn’t the face of Indian culture, BY DEFAULT. What continues to stun me is the utter stupidity of the people who selected her. Should the honour not have gone to a more deserving, nay – simply, a deserving candidate?

– And now – this – Curries! (P.S: If the curries are anything like her, I would rather scurry!) I cannot believe she is going to ‘invent’ curries! There are lakhs of Indian cookbooks and guides. (Btw, there is this really smart Indian cooking blog I came across the other day 😉 ) She and her partner (in crime?) announced the invention of new blends of spices!

– Its incredible, the way she takes full mileage of her famed racial incident with Jane Goody and uses ‘Jane’s memory’ to cash in on another opportunity! Poppa-dom! As if there aren’t enough Poppadom brands in the market already.

So! The brand ‘Shilpa’ is a success (if publicity/fame is an acceptable measure of the same). It is widely recognized, and rakes in the moolah!

And, all this, without having any sound or unique product or service (?! ;-))

She defies Kotler! She defies the principle of needing to have some product offering of SUBSTANCE to be able to sell it! In much-bandied about MBA jargon.. ‘she has made a paradigm shift’.

So its good news for all the wannabe successful young girls/lads out there!

Here is the NEW and IMPROVED secret to success:

You need a TUMMY!!!

Yes that’s what you need. A nice big tummy!

-You do not need first mover’s advantage.

-You do not even need a good product!

T

-All you need need is TIMING!  Time your launch after death of your so-called-tormentor, caching in on her memory! Like you have been the thickest friends ever.

U

– Next you need a USP. However shallow and silly it might be. 

Dear Shilpa’s USP is that she is hailed (well, mainly by herself) as a survivor!

Not of drought, famine or war (or even Swine flu!). But of a silly squabble between bickering Nautankeys on a Reality show. That catapulted her into a whole new global arena altogether!

M

–Money (as always)! A rich business magnate boyfriend surely does help!

M

-And ofcourse, Mummy! Don’t ever forget that Mummyji will tag along with her gullible little girl as they parade all over the world.

Y

–Yoga! Ofcourse..how could one forget? It is the secret to tranquility and ability to think clearly. Plus, a BIG PLUS, its Shilpa’s key to beauty and success. Google it, if you want to!

So there! You have successfully whined your way to fame!

You really are an international heroine – no pun there! 

Goody goody, Shilpa! Your poor attacker is long gone!

But you still continue to haunt us 😦

(P.S: Kotler might learn a lesson or two from this young lady!)

(P.P.S: Reg. the ‘Y for Yoga’ – how am I supposed to come up with some fancy jargon with ‘Y’ of all the letters in the alphabet?! So, if you can think of an attractive Y-word, do let me know so we can give a logical conclusion to the TUMMY strategy 😉 )