Categories
Thought and Reason

A guilt-free life

Women’s Day went by quite some time ago. The lovely ladies at ‘Womens Web‘ have this contest till 15th March. And as always, here I am, typing away at the very last minute (GMT!). But here it is. A few random thoughts, about a Guilt-Free life.

The traditional Indian woman – Beautiful, capable, charming, intelligent, cultured.. and family-oriented. Reminds me of the ‘Tu Hi Tu’ Star Plus Anthem that created a little ruckus last year.

Me? I am far from that pedestal. Very, very far. And happily far. I am no Superwoman. I’m just your average woman, trying to juggle her own space with her near and dear ones.

And for all Superwomen aspirants, please may I just add these humble tips to help lead a Guilt Free life.

* Me-time:    I’ve seen women, even the young/hip ones, express guilt about spending a little time ‘away’ from the family. I think ‘me-time’ is rejuvenating. A little time off and you don’t just refresh yourself, you even give ‘them’ time to re-bond and chill out, rather than be under your watchful eyes. Take time off, meet up with the ‘girl gang’, read a book (Even M&B would do ;-)), watch a movie… do anything.. But just don’t feel guilty about it.

* Financial independence.   I don’t quite understand the concept of ‘joint account’. I mean, technically I do. I’ve even worked at a bank, remember? But having some financial independence is something I deem ‘necessary’ for every woman. Have a separate account, even if it has only a little money.

* Keep occupied.     An acquaintance asked me yesterday if I got ‘bored at home’. No, I don’t! I have multiple tasks and little projects on hand. And I love keeping myself occupied. Keep yourself busy, even  if it is only a self-created-task of re-organising your wardrobe. An Idle Mind is… you know better.

* Work-out!     During my growing years, it was very easy to identify a ‘mum’. A typical mum would be overweight, look a little unkempt and quite stressed. It isn’t like that any more. Join the gym, start attending aerobics/Zumba/ anything you like, really. I love what Zumba and swimming have done to my confidence levels. So do work-out.

* Love yourself.    And I don’t literally mean Sheela’s song 😉 Love who you are, the way you are. You may not be the most good-looking or the slimmest chick around. But WTH! You are still ‘You’. Love yourself, and don’t feel guilty about it. Loving yourself can only help strengthen your relationship with other people.

And lastly, Celebrate!!!! You don’t need someone else to wish you on Women’s Day. Wish yourself, wish your mum and your girl-friends. And go shopping Hee Haww 🙂

Categories
Incidents MommySpeak Thought and Reason

Reverend Father

Rev. Father

The Principal of a boys only school. He was jovial, old and respectable. The boys loved him. The parents respected him immensely. He was after all, ‘Reverend Father’.

He was kind to the boys, and insisted on meeting the friends and relatives of the boys. So every fun-fair day, or ‘fancy fete’ day, as it was called in those times, the boys would take their sisters and their friends to show them around the school. Rev. Father would call them into his room. Brightly-lit, spacious room, the shelves respectably lined with thick volumes. The children loved the room. It was, after all, the safe haven that belonged to ‘Reverend Father’.

Rev. Father would always offer the children lollipops. While the boys sat on the chair opposite the huge teak wood table, Rev.Father would call the girl over to his side. One hand would go protectively around the back of the little 6 or 7 year old child, drawing her close to him. The huge table almost hiding her, so her brother/friend could only see her neck and above. Rev.Father would stoop to the child’s level, and ask normal questions very kindly, ‘What is your name, my child?’ ‘What does your daddy do?’. You know, the sort of questions any caring, elderly person would ask!

While in the meanwhile, his right hand would creep up the little child’s thighs, get into her panty, and fiddle away, until the barrage of questions stopped. Usually, the child would remain silent. WHAT DOES A 6 YEAR OLD KNOW OR UNDERSTAND?

* First, the child is taken aback.

Second, the child is confused.

Third, the child has no escape!!

Once her turn was over, he would give her more lollipops, and wait serenely for the next child.

So this went on, until one of the kids realised SOMETHING WAS WRONG, and complained to her mother. The mother was SHOCKED. She questioned the other children’s parents. Then, she was FURIOUS.

Reverend Father had molested several little girls who had entered his room. Sadly, some of the boys even KNEW ABOUT IT, and despite that, they went ahead and brought their unsuspecting friends to him.

And then what?

Well, what do you expect? A Bolly-wood style Morcha? A protest or a people’s movement against the sick Rev.Father? A formal complaint against him, after which he was thrown out from his post, or probably even imprisoned and punished?

Ha! HA! HA!

Nothing happened.

It was best to keep quiet. Nobody would believe it. Nobody would talk about it. He was above all this. It was a respectable colony. A respectable school. A calm and wonderful neighbourhood. All that was not to be sullied. It was best to keep quiet, and avoid the sleazy old man.

He was, afterall, ‘REVEREND FATHER’. 

IF YOU THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG , FIGHT IT

This happened two decades ago.

I wonder, had this happened today, will our reaction be any different?

Will we fight child abuse? Will we take up the issue with other parents, will we protest against such molestors? Will we put any effort to get such perverts punished?

Or will we, as always, simply ‘hush’ it?!!!!

To read more about Child Abuse Awareness, please head over here.