Abortion – Cruel or Kind?


At a recent party, the conversation veered rapidly from brandy and mulled wine to beauty and appearances. Amidst the general cheerful banter, I overheard a small group of people talking about children with severe disabilities and how parents of such children cope with life. One guest happened to ask – ‘if parents had prior knowledge about a child’s mental disorder before it is born, then wouldn’t it be better to simply abort the pregnancy rather than face a lifetime of suffering?’

My first instinct was: If abortions based on children’s disability were to become common, then we tend to become very intolerant as a society. Take a look at the statistics on this UK website (link).

1 in 4 people will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year’

‘About 10% of children have a mental health problem at any one time’

If we knew ahead of time, would we simply axe a quarter of the population, or perhaps one tenth of our children?!

However, on pondering about this topic, I realise that we seem to live in a world where anything less than ‘perfect’ faces some form of social rejection (Forget the fact that perfection itself is over-rated and I am yet to come across a ‘perfect’-looking person – who has not had a nose-job or boob-job, that is!)

That being the case, children who have severe mental disabilities might just be far more vulnerable than others. How often have we come across cases of sexual abuse against mentally unstable victims!! Read this excerpt on ‘at least 19 mentally-challenged girls who had bruises on their bodies and other signs suggesting sexual abuse.’

Now brace yourself and click this link to get a broad picture of the wide range of disabilities! They range from mild to severe, hardly impacting life or greatly hinder even basic functioning!

In my strictly personal and very subjective opinion (not supported by any facts whatsoever!!), as Indians, these impact our thought process:

1) Social impact: Taunts, Ridicule and Social rejection!

As I remember it, about two to three decades ago, there was not much awareness of ‘special needs’. Let’s take a very simple example. A child wearing thick glasses would most likely be taunted with the words ‘soda-buddi’ (meaning, glasses as thick as a soda bottle). A polio-crippled child would be mercilessly teased ‘langda’ (lame). This is not at all uncommon!

It gets worse as the disability is more severe.. Take a child who suffers, say from ADHD. The most probably thing to happen at school is that an inexperienced teacher would label him ‘hyperactive’ or ‘wild’. Or take the case of an autistic child. The common man, out of sheer ignorance, is quite likely to reject the child from social circles by branding him or her as ‘mentally retarded’. The child therefore faces a huge social disadvantage!

I agree that a lot of research has gone into the spectrum of disabilities and special needs. Unfortunately though, awareness at a common level, is just not enough. So, don’t you think that a child with severe mental disabilities is more likely to lead a very difficult life as compared to other children?

2) Personal impact: The thin line between ‘Responsibility’ and ‘Burden’?

We love our children, but there are moments when they can totally get on our nerves. Like say, non-stop whining during school-holidays! So imagine, for a moment, the life of parents of a severely disabled child? They have to look at (and look out for) their child 24*7, perhaps even fully knowing that there is no immediate or long-term solution. Perhaps they will have to physically look after the child all his/her life. Such parents often withdraw into a shell, unable to face society and even themselves, and watch in despair, as life slips right through their hands.

Research papers claim that any child with disability will thrive well if nurtured with love and care. However, the red flag here is: When will the parent snap? There is a very delicate line differentiating ‘responsibility’ from ‘burden’. Afterall, parents are human too!

3) The great Karmic circle

While abortion is often considered as a crime against society by many people around the world, we often add the Karma dimension to it, and make it a ‘sinful act’.

Apparently, abortion is legal in UK if the child is ‘that there is a substantial risk that if the child were born it would suffer from such physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped’. Abortion is legal in India too, under certain specific medical circumstances.

So now, the big question is: What is cruel and what is kind?

Is aborting a severely disabled child cruel and heartless? Or is it simply an act of kindness to a child who is likely to face immense hardships?

Imho, IF done in good faith – it is but ‘kindness’ to spare an innocent child from misery.

What do you believe? Do share!!

Edited to add: The intention of this post is not to JUDGE other parents who face such a dilemma, but to put yourself in their shoes and analyse what you would do! Thanks!!

Advertisements

28 thoughts on “Abortion – Cruel or Kind?

  1. I logged in and got a email you have posted a article ..

    and what a article lots to think about before one can decide if this is cruel or kind..
    Foremost I want to ask Who are we to decide if it is cruel of kind, this is a individuals Personal decision, the problem with people is that THEY have to have a comment on everything especially the DO-GOODERS. who will havea say in everything.

    I sincerely believe that If I am in that situation it is Mine and my Wife’s decision what to do and how to go about it .. I dont care a damn is someone thinks its cruel or if someone thinks its kind. None of their business.

    YEs it can be kind if we know for sure about the problems that might happen or occur once the baby is born, as you say kindness to spare a innocent child to suffer all his life and curse the parents for giving birth to him/her.

    also sometimes it can be a mistake too, a boy and girl who are themselves kids how an they bring up a child, that is again cruelty to the unborn child, we have seen over the time how some parents have behaved towards the unwanted children, In uk there is a vast number of teenage pregnancies and then the children are left to fend for themselves ..

    I dont think we can ever decide if it is kindness or cruelty, a rich family whose kids go about for mauj and masti and what not end up pregnant they chose abortion to me that is cruelty , they can afford to give the child a good life .. on the other hand a girl of poor family who is betrayed by her boyfriend lover , leaves her pregnant she opts for abortion that to me will be kindness …

    same as in the health of the child, if the child is sick and have so many problems It will be kindness towards it , yet on other hand if those health issues are curable and one goes for abortion then that is cruelty as the parents dont want to work for it.

    lots of permutation and combination BUt end of the day its the mother-father who have to decide and they know whats best for their child ..

    1. Bikki,
      I couldn’t agree more! The examples you have given are very valid. You are right, this is a very subjective topic, and a third person really cannot judge parents who are in such a situation.I think the key issue here is, the ‘biggest’ concern of the parents. Is it the child’s life or their own!

  2. It is indeed a double edged sword.

    What would I do? I would be torn to bits. I am very very fortunate that I have a perfect life and a perfect child.
    So true, Laks. 
    Would I have loved my child any less if she were less than perfect? No.
    Absolutely! Wish all parents would say the same thing.
    But, would I abort if I knew another child of mine is going to be severely disabled? I think I would. Not because I am selfish. It would be a hard life, but once born, the child is MINE, my parental instinct would kick in and I would be a dedicated parent, even if it killed me. But because the child would suffer – physically and/or mentally. I don’t think I am brave enough to face that. I wouldn’t consider Abortion a sin at that time.
    Yes, I agree again. In a case with a clear medical condition, and a severe one at that, I don’t think its a sin either. But when it is for convenience, then perhaps it is not quite right!!  
    As for other reasons for abortion – illegitimacy, or just not wanting a child – I still think abortion is not as much a sin as irresponsible parenting. No point giving birth to a child and not taking care of her. Even amongst rich families, who, as Bikram says, engage in irresponsible mauj and masti – it is not a matter of being able to afford a child. It is responsibility that matters more.
    And that opens up another can of worms, Laks. The topic of giving birth to a child and then ‘not wanting’ it! That is complete cruelty! 
    Again, abortion is a double edged sword that needs to be handled with care. The line between justified abortion and wrong abortion is very fuzzy, and personal.
    Well said Laks!

  3. Lovely post Pal 🙂 and very touching
    Thank you Urmi, I had an inkling that you would read and comment on this today. 
    It’s so difficult to comment when one has never been in that situation. I can say confidently that if I were to face any situation like this [now that we are hoping for a 2nd child], I will wholeheartedly go through the pregnancy and raise the child come what may. I know this is easier said than done, but these are my firm views.
    And I am proud of you for saying so!! 
    The reason is; even if one is blessed with a healthy baby [healthy, by the looks of it and matching all the parameters] – anything can go wrong!!! Maybe in a moment of negligence or carelessness by the parent, the baby might fall off a bed or anywhere and be severely injured to the point of being handicapped. What would I do then? I’d still care for that child and raise him/her to the best of my abilities, no questions, na? So why’s the baby that is yet unborn any different 🙂
    You have a very valid point, Urmi. I think there are very few people like you around!! 
    As for being cruel or kind, it is an individual viewpoint. The ones who feel they are being kind to a child by giving him/her a chance at life, have to understand that they can in no way make the child ever feel indebted to them for this. It is a choice that they made. As for the ones who make the first choice – they’ve made their decision and need to be guilt free.
    Yes Urmi, it certainly is an individual viewpoint. And like you very rightly said, it is a conscious choice, and whichever way the decision goes, the parent would have to be strong enough to avoid feeling guilty.

  4. While surfing WordPress blogs – taking a break from writing in mine! – I tumbled into yours. I thought I might chime in as the voice of a parent who has three children, one with profound special needs. Notice I did not say “special needs child”? If you would like, please refer to my blog: Labels (http://sylvestwalsh.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/labels/) for a clearer understanding of why I say this.

    I’m glad you tumbled here!! 
    My life long dream was to grow up and be a mommy. Of course, in that dream, all my children (I wanted four!) would be beautiful, happy, well-mannered, and extremely healthy. When I was a teen, I babysat to “special needs” girls – both had ADHD and were Autistic, one extremely. I could only handle watching them on two occasions. After the experience, I prayed I would never have a child with special needs. I was convinced it would be too much to handle.
    I think you echo the sentiments of most parents when you say that! 

    Time passed… I grew up, got married, and soon was pregnant with my first child. As I’m certain all expectant mothers do, I prayed the child I carried under my heart was healthy. By the grace of God, she was! Six years later – repeat, all along praying, again, for a perfectly happy, HEALTHY baby. Even though 7 weeks premature, I – again by the grace of God – gave birth to a perfectly happy, HEALTHY baby; boy this time! I was half way to having my dream come true!

    Four years later… Pregnant again – yeah! This pregnancy was quite difficult – leaving me restricted to complete bed rest for the last SIX months! What else was there to do while lying in bed but to pray my baby would be perfect? In January, 1992 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who – other than a Port Wine Stain (birthmark) covering her left eye and forehead – appeared perfect in every way. Within hours, I didn’t even notice the birthmark – just her sparkling eyes and precious grin as she gently clasped onto my finger for the first time.

    Six months later my life – as I new it – was changed forever. She was diagnosed with a very rare neuorvascular disorder with primary issues being glaucoma, uncontrollable seizures and strokes. Secondary issues – from the seizures, strokes, and medication side effects – are scoliosis, severe osteoperosis (requiring her to be repositioned every 2 hours day & night to prevent stress fractures), paralysis on the right side of her body (from a hemispherectomy removing the left hemisphere of her brain), and failure to breath while sleeping (requiring oxygen & monitors). She has difficulty with chewing & swallowing – although she does eat, it is not enough to maintain a healthy weight or obtain all the needed nutrients – so a feeding tube, placed in her stomach, is used each night. I was told she would not llive to see the age of two; if she did, she would be in a vegetative state. I am happy to say she turned 16 this past Saturday!

    This probably sounds terrible, as though my daughter suffers a daily, agonizing life. I will not argue that, at times, she does in deed suffer. After a bad seizure she will get a debilitating migraine requiring narcotics to ease her pain. A seizure will also steal parts of her memory, her speech, or her strength. She has learned how to feed herself, walk, talk, toilet, etc. over and over again. All that being said, my youngest child is the happy, well mannered, well adjusted child I prayed for. She just happened to come with special needs. With half a brain, she is able to converse better than most adults I know. When I purchased my first “smart” phone last year, guess who taught me how to use it? She did! She is a wiz on the computer. She attends public school; part of her classes are special ed others are mainstreamed.

    This is her life. She knows of no other. I’m the one whimpering whenever she is poked with a needle (which is often), not her. Just like my other children, she has chores – and she complains about doing them! She attempts to negotiate her bed time, just like any other teenager.

    I could go on and on singing praises about this beautiful young lady who just happens to have needs which are different than those of her brother and sister. Suffice it to say, I do not regret one single day I have been blessed to share with her. Due to the difficult pregnancy, the doctors wanted a Geneticist to run test to make sure the baby did not have any problems. I would not allow them. I believe, from the moment of conception, an infant is being carryed under my heart – given to me from God. If she was not meant to be, my body would have naturally aborted her.

    Has it been easy? No. Her father could not accept her condition and walked out when she was four years old. Could I have aborted her? Personally, no. But I would not judge nor condemn another for doing so. I am not here to judge. There are many who give birth to a child with special needs who cannot cope with the numerous challenges and elect to give the child up for adoption. I personally feel that is the better of the options. There are times when I have difficulty coping but, when my world seems darkest, she brings a burst of light when, with a lopsided grin, she looks me straight in the eyes and says, “I love you Mommy.”
    I am so glad to read your comment. It was lying in ‘spam’ so I don’t really know if this is spam or not. But even if it is, I am glad to have read it!! It broadens my outlook. And I completely echo what you said – we are not here to judge other parents, but only to analyse ourselves and our emotions regarding this very sensitive topic. 

    NOTE: My old blog (www.sylvestwalsh.wordpress.com) is no longer active. I have begun a new blog at http://www.sylvestandme.wordpress.com.

    Thanks for letting me ramble & put my two cents in about abortion.

    Have a GREAT day!

    Have I solved the cruel vs kind abortion issue? Nope. Abortion has always been and always will be such a sensitive political, personal, and religious issue with no-one agreeing to the rights and wrongs. In my case, it was not an option. And, again, I have no regrets. My daughter is very happy – we are controlling the disease, it is NOT controlling us. She has outlived all medical predictions, for which I am extremely grateful. She has made me the woman I am today. My life and the life of her siblings has been blessed because of her being a part of our lives. She is my youngest daughter… with special needs.
    Can I just say, KUDOS to you for being such a strong and wonderful parent. What more can a child ask for!!

  5. Everyone suffers and has hardships in their lives. Everyone is imperfect, and everyone faces tough times at some point.
    Agree with you on that.
    There are many disabled people in our country. Four of them happen to be my best friends.

    One has Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism. One, my cousin, has Down Syndrome. The other two are mentally disabled, one of them having physical disabilities as well. One boy I know that goes to my church is severely mentally and physically disabled.

    And every single one of them are some of the most happy people I know. Every time I see that boy, he is smiling. My cousin is always running around playing and having fun. My other three friends enjoy life as much as the next person. Sure, they face hardships, but who doesn’t?
    That is refreshing to read, christianprofile (Wish I knew your real name rather than using this one) I would say they are lucky to live in an encouraging and supportive environment. But can we say the same for every other kid?

    People are criticized for bullying people with those disabilities because they are different. We should treat them the same as everyone, they’re not any different, right? Then why should we abort them?
    My first reaction was the same as yours. Bullying is a definite No-No. But this whole concept of equality and ‘humanity’ itself actually – How ‘real’ is it? I mean, is it enough if only a handful of people believe in treating everyone fairly?

    I have known atleast 3 families, that have had children with severe mental disabilities. Each child’s experience was different. And rather unfortunately, in those days, there was not much awareness of special needs and the kids grew into adults, covered from the eyes of society, and one day, just passed away.

    And that is why I feel if a parent wishes to abort a pregnancy ‘for the sake of the child’ and not just because ‘they want to lead a hassle-free life’, then I think they are being kind to the unborn child.

    1. Well, if people don’t treat everyone fairly, should we abort black babies because some people are racist? What about smart babies? People get made fun of for being smart. What about babies who may grow up and not be pretty by society’s standards? Should we abort all of them because they might be treated wrongly?

      Also, you said “And that is why I feel if a parent wishes to abort a pregnancy ‘for the sake of the child’ and not just because ‘they want to lead a hassle-free life’, then I think they are being kind to the unborn child.”

      A family aborts a special needs child. If he/she would have been born, the family would have seen them as a burden and treated them wrongly. So, aren’t they aborting a child because they want to lead a hassle-free life? I think that anyone who is going to treat their special needs child wrongly is going to abort them because of selfish reasons, which you deem wrong. So, if someone aborts a special needs child for the sake of the child obviously cares for the child, so would treat him/her right if they were born.

      1. Very difficult to say, CP. There are people who are in really difficult situations and you really cannot blame them for a decision that only they can take. My post was only about what ‘YOU’ (the reader) will do in a situation like that. I am happy to see your answer, you are all for bringing the child into this world, no matter what. And kudos for that!! I understand that you are completely against abortion, but all the same, I don’t think it is right to judge other people or to generalise.

  6. Generally speaking everybody has their share of suffering, and they can be grouped under 4 main categories: physical/mental/social/emotional. Physically challenged are happier lot if they have learnt to accept their handicap and moved on, mentally challenged are not aware of their problem, and may remain childish, but its their parents and close relatives who suffer the most who have to take care of them all their life, whereas emotional and socially challenged are the ones who cannot cope with daily life activities and are at higher risk to suicides and arson if not given proper help on time. But these problems appear later in life.

    Abortion is a very traumatic experience and woman weeps all her life over this decision, but then, raising a mentally challenged child is equally traumatic, especially for a mother. In such cases, it is better that ppl are better educated to understand this problem and how to take proper precautions to prevent it from happening.

    but if they could not prevent it and in very serious cases, when u know that child will suffer all his life, it is cruelty to bring such a child into this world.

    Very analytical approach Pushy, thank you for sharing your views. I think I agree with you. If parents know that the child is going to suffer immensely, then perhaps they should be kind enough to let go! Its a really tough call, and I don’t think any parent can take that decision without feeling a twinge of guilt, perhaps something felt for a whole lifetime!

  7. I loved the way you wrote it…now the thing is that my Bhabhi was pregnant last year but the doctor realised in the 2nd month that the foetus was not growing..and if the pregnancy went ahead, either the child would be physically/mentally challenged or my bhabhi would be in danger of losing her life…my brother and bhabhi went crazy deciding what to do but finally they got the baby aborted which was done by the doctor under proper medical conditions and within the legal grounds…they showed the foetus to my brother (my bhabhi was unconsicous) and he broke down…I wasnt there but ma was around and she was in tears herself…was it right for them to abort a child? I think it was..because if I already know that a child is going to suffer social/mental problems, I would rather not bring such a child to this world…am I right? I dont know!

    Its definitely a catch 22 situation!

  8. I don’t think of an abortion as sin or cruelty as long as it is done in the first trimester and the decision to abort has not been based on the sex of the foetus. Parents are within their rights to abort in cases of contraceptive failure or if the child is likely to be born with congenital abnormalities, or if the mother’s life is likely to be endangered by the birth. It is, in fact, the reason why ultrasounds are performed in the first trimester–to warn prospective parents of detectable congenital problems,if any, so that they can opt out of it if they want while it is still early.

    In many cases couples are medically advised to terminate the pregnancy–for instance in cases where both parents are thalassemia minors, the baby has a one in four chance of being born a thalassemia major, in which case it would require monthly or fortnightly blood transfusions as long as he lives(not beyond the teens in the best of cases.) So thalassemia minor couples are made to undergo special tests these days to find out if the foetus is a major. If it is, they are advised to abort. But of course they can go ahead with the pregnancy if they so wish.

    My Mama-Mami’s first born had been a thalassemia major–the child died at the age of two and a half, despite all the transfusions, causing the parents and everyone in the family terrible emotional trauma. I was only a kid–this was in the early eighties–but I distinctly remember their grief. I am sure abortion also causes the parents a lot of trauma, but ultimatelyit must be less than the trauma of losing a child.

    I do think it makes sense to abort the foetus if it is not likely to live long after birth, and also if the parents cannot afford the long-term medical expenses or even if they are simply unwilling to shoulder the responsibility to provide the extra care, attention and love that their child’s condition may warrant. It is kinder, I think, to abort than to become reluctant, grudging parents to a special-needs-child.

  9. I know things will differ from case to case and it is up to the individual parents to make a choice. However, one of my friends who just lost her seven year old boy who had Down’s Syndrome will attest that the best choice she made in life was to keep her baby. She knew that he was most likely to have Down’s, chose to go ahead with the pregnancy, struggled with his various illness and day to day bringing him up….but she tells me he was her angel and she would have it no other way. If she had chosen abortion her life would have been easier but not richer…….
    What if a child is born normal and then develops an illness……? Would we choose to euthanize her/him? To my mind the easier way is not always the best way…..
    Having said that, I don’t know what I would do in the same situation……..

  10. Very balanced article. My two cents – I do not consider abortion a sin. There could be circumstances when it’s actually, like you said, kind. The mother could be dying, there may be no one capable of taking the child’s responsibility. But yes, if the only excuse for getting an abortion is something trivial like the sex of a child or an “I do not want another baby” excuse, then the picture isn’t all black and white.

  11. If I knew earlier I would abort. I see it as an act of kindness to a an unborn child who is likely to face immense hardships. Of course our karma theory will refute that. But I don’t subscribe to it. And in case the child who is born develops a problem, well of course, it is still my child and will be loved nevertheless.
    Yes it is tough for parents. One gets annoyed with healthy children and sometimes shouts. But with a special needs child, the parents will immediately feel guilty for any feelings of helplessness they may undergo in caring for the child.
    Abortion is legal only under certain specific medical conditions in India? Are you sure?

  12. Pals, like LG says, abortion is a very dicey thing… Abuse happens all the time.. Still, its a better option to bring a child into this world and let it suffer for no fault of his/her… If the baby is diagnosed for abnormalities, no one accepts the child like the parents or siblings do.. And the parents spend rest of their lives worrying about what will happen to their child after they are gone..
    Yes absolutely Vidya. I couldn’t agree more.

    I know a couple whose 22/23 year old daughter has DS.. This girl A paints wonderfully, makes noodles herself, is very loving and adores kids etc.. But her parents worry about her every second.. Specially the mom V, who cannot talk for 10 mins without tears dropping from her eyes.. She has been a wonderful mom and has trained her daughter exceptionally well.. It was a co-incidence that she was working in a school for children with such disabilities and she says that she never ever dreamed that her god would do this to her.. Whenever any of us speak to her, we tell her that A was born to her only because she was capable of taking good care of her.. I know no one buys this idea anymore.. At least I don’t.. V is a wonderful woman and does not deserve to suffer all her life thinking about what will happen to A after she and her husband are gone..
    That is heart-wrenching Vidya…what can I say…I feel so bad for the Mum.

    Another colleague was diagnosed with a baby had a head full of fluid.. It was the 5th month and the docs advised her to terminate because the child was any way not going to live long, and even if it did, it would be a life of suffering.. This lady had a boy baby first and she was looking forward to a girl even the first time. Second time she was hopeful that it would be a girl.. It was.. but it did not live to see the world.. She literally fought with the doc saying she had every right to keep her baby.. She delayed the process by another 2 weeks and had to finally let go because she knew that other than her or her hubby, no one would care ‘enough’ for the child.. Why am quoting this instance is, 5 months is pretty advanced in my opinion and a mommy already makes a bond with the child..
    Sigh!! Abortion for medical reasons makes sense Vidya, but like you said, that wonderful bond has already formed..

    If I were to discover that i’m pregnant with a third child despite all the precautions (they can fail at times too!), I think I would contemplate an abortion too because am not a 20-something! (though i want to believe that am just out of college:(- my friends might take a dig and agree saying – mudhiyor kalvi!!)
    Hmmm… that makes me think, its not just disabilities of the child that influence our decision but also the abilities of the parent, right? 

    In situations that leaves little choice, resorting to abortion is fine.. If its a result of reckless behaviour,/decisions, well,.. the child would still suffer!

    1. I wrote a post on similar lines sometime back:
      http://musingsanddoodlings.blogspot.in/2012/02/mission-unsuccessful-abort.html
      Archana, I am unable to open the link, could you kindly check if that is the correct one? I’ll try again from a different browser.
      I know how selfish the post sounds, but a baby is not hassle-free, even if it is healthy. It requires a emotional AND a financial commitment, and if the parents think they cannot do so, they should have the right to abort.
      Definitely agree with you.

  13. Your post raises so many questions.. and not easy ones either. Abortion, I think is a very private decision, and most people who do decide to go for it, do not take it lightly..And it is such a subjective thing too, isn’t it? While most of us would balk at the thought of it, for some, it might be the only option.
     Very well said, Smitha, as always.
    And of course, a lot of people do decide to go ahead and have the baby – no matter what. One of our friends, had such an experience. She had had multiple miscarriages, and finally when one pregnancy went beyond the first three months, they were told that the baby might have Downs. They had a really tough time deciding. Finally they decided to go with it, and they have the most gorgeous, healthy daughter now! Perfect.It worked for them – as a family, and as a family, they were ready to go ahead – no matter what. And in some families, it might not be so easy – due to many factors. So if they do decide to terminate the pregnancy, I think they would have taken that tough decision after a lot of thinking..
    I think they are very lucky, Smitha. Not all families are so lucky. Also in a country where a majority of people are poor/lower middle class, looking after a child with special needs might not be a welcome option…especially when they have to think of their next meal! 
    What would I do? I haven’t a clue.. I think unless we actually face a situation like this, we can never be sure of what we would do..
    I hear you!

  14. Very very thought provoking post that can be debated endlessly, with the only consequence that people will be clearer with their decisions, and will either do it or not, because of what understanding they finally have got, if they do need to get an abortion.
    Thank you Usha. You are right, there is no ‘correct’ answer here, it is only to facilitate clearer and guilt-free decisions. 
    For me, it would be an option, if I had prior knowledge, realizing that perhaps there are no guarantees in life, and other than the baby’s parents (most often, I know!) not many have patience with children with special needs. As a teacher, in a school that acknowledges the requirement for them to be in mainstream education, I’ve seen the kind of labelling that can happen, even in a school such as ours. And if you do have a CWSN (Child with special needs – CBSE’s terminology), one that could not be determined beforehand, you are blessed, for they bring to us the Magic of life. But with prior knowledge, I’m not too sure I’d want to go ahead, contrary as that sounds!
    Absolutely Usha, the patience and love factor cannot be discounted..and its not an easy world out there in any case! Contrary opinions, yes, but Usha, I can totally empathise!! 
    I loved reading the comments too! Thank you Pallavi!
    We have a lovely bunch of readers, don’t we Usha?

  15. If we ever can know in advance about condition of chid , then I think it wouldn’t be cruel to take decision on that basis. If child is going to born as physically disabled then, and if parents want, they can go fo abortion. However this would be an argument for people who don’t want unwanted child.
    Thank you for your honest feedback, Fenil 
    Any who, yesterday I watched Iranian movie ” Children of Paradise”. This movie is worth watching. Though it doesn’t fully address the our issue but certainly successful in portraying parent side condition of physically disabled child.
    Thanks for that, I will google it.

    1. Correction for movie name, it is :”The Color of Paradise” and not ” Children of Paradise”.
      Thank you Fenil, I will check it out.

So, what do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s