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Five easy steps to get a headache

Five easy steps to get a headache   

Simply talk to an acquaintance that fits the description below:

1)      Is extremely talkative – talks like he/she is an express train, or like he/she is suffering from diarrhoea and is rushing to find a toilet! Someone who talks without waiting to hear a reply, or on hearing a reply, pounces on that, and asks more questions than what Kasab has been asked!

2)      Is very loud – His/her normal voice is like a loudspeaker, so loud that you can hide your phone under the sofa and still hear the person loud and clear.

3)      Forces you to baby-talk with his/her Toddler – With absolutely no warning, right in the middle of a conversation, the acquaintance puts her toddler on the phone to talk to you. So one second you are listening to the express train. The next, you are supposed to be enjoying the babble of a child you don’t know. Honestly, I’m sure that child is an absolutely adorable little angel, but WTH, you are not in the mood for baby-talk!

4)      Is looking for a job – Within 5 minutes of the phone-call, he/she has interrogated you and knows your entire bio-data and that of your spouse’s too. Needless to say, in the following 5 minutes, he/she has asked you for leads, for contacts and for your email Id and your spouse’s email ID too, to float her CV around. And all this, when you hardly know him/her.

5)      Is very very very eager to meet you. Even if you are evidently hard-pressed for time. The person is kind enough to invite himelf/herself to your place, if you don’t have the time to go out to meet him/her.

So there! If you don’t have that head-ache yet, do let me know. I can pass your telephone number on to this latest acquaintance of mine!