55-er Short story

Sparkling eyes – 55 word fiction

Pick-up time. The children chattered excitedly, as rains lashed.

A little girl quietly waited for Nanny.


She looked up, surprised. Her eyes sparkled.

She ran and hugged the woman.

The woman pushed her away.

‘I only came because its raining. Can’t come everyday Ok?’ she snapped.

‘Yes Mummy’ Sofia nodded.

The sparkle had disappeared.

PS: I actually witnessed this incident when I went to collect my son from school this evening (names have been changed.. rather, assumed). One moment, the little girl was so excited. The next moment, it was all gone. Like a balloon had been deflated.

I wonder how many times we behave like that Mother. Not realising that the absence of a smile, or a hug, can dampen the spirit of our beautiful precious children? Don’t mean to be preachy, but I do hope, we will more consciously try, to reciprocate the wonderful and endless love that our children shower on us….

33 replies on “Sparkling eyes – 55 word fiction”

Nice 55er Pal…I think we are all guilty of doing things like that occassionally…not thinking before we speak (and not just to kids) thereby hurting others… DEfinitely need to be more mindful…

oh that poor poor baby!!
I feel like smacking that mother!! 😡 😈
I felt the same way, Pix. Wanted to give her a tight slap!!!!
Beautifully written Pals!
Thank you,Pix!

Well expressed…
Yes – little things appears to be small to us as parents, that makes a lot of difference to kids, but how many parents would really understand this.. I am afraid that I am also falling in this category sometimes….as someone mentioend above, its a reminder …
Exactly, Ratna, this is a reminder to all of us. We do get stressed often, we are human too, but we just need to remember that one little word can hurt a child’s soft heart!!

I totally agree with you. In fact me and In Laws (who are looking after the l’lle one) have been having slight disagreement on the fact that whether I shud call and speak to the l’lle one or not. As per them he saddens after talking to me & misses me more so I shudn’t speak to him, whereas I feel that I am leaving him out of compulsion but by not talking to him I wud be totally abandoning him. So instead of not calling him at all I shud make him strong & make him get used to me not being there.
I guess in your case the lady in this story was just trying to ensure that the kids hope doesn’t go high but the way she did it was extremely wrong.

I agree, Smita, the lady was driving home a point, but you know, first she could have reciprocated the hug, given a kiss or two, and then said the same thing in a kind manner 🙂 Btw, you should talk to your kid as often as you can. Infact make it a routine. Then he won’t feel after talking. I think its crucial for kids to KNOW that their Mommy loves them more than anybody else. Also, kids get very attached to the primary caretaker, so you have to go all out to be in the kid’s good books 😉 😉

Oh! That’s so true…I have seen it too…many times even within the family…and i’ve always given the parents a piece of my mind too! In such cases, i nvr care if i sound preachy. Standing up for the kids will make them feel better!
I’ve never done that Priya, I always think its a personal matter, and I’m afraid the parents would turn their rage against me 😦 But yes, I feel very bad for the kids 😦

a nice 55er …. I guess parents do ignore such little things not realizing how much it means to the little one…
Yes Dhiman, I’m sure we are all guilty of it, at some point in time. Watching it from a third person’s point of view showed me how bad the child felt 😦

Heart-breaking, isn’t it? I can’t imagine what that little child must have gone through.. I feel like gathering her up in a hug and never letting her go.
Right, Smitha, that mum must be a really stupid woman, she kept repeating her sentence until the girl nodded quietly. She kept saying ‘I have to be at work, I can’t do this. Only today, blah blah blah. I mean, couldn’t she save her lecture for some other time?!!

Aww….poor lil girl and so typical behaviour of a mom (sometimes)….
Its a good reminder for all of us, thanks Pal and hats off to ur writing!!!
Thanks so much Rashmi!!! I better bookmark you so I don’t miss out on your posts either.

I so feel like hugging that li’l one rt now 🙄
Awww … Swar you are so full of love and kindness 🙂
Hw did I miss this post 😯
Hee hee hee!!!

Aww. I feel sad. 😦
Isn’t parenting such an important thing in life…
U bet. And it is such a challenge! I don’t know how our parents did it, or maybe we were just very sweet kids and didnt give them any sort of trouble!!!

How rude that mother is!
She is not even to be called as mother! I am still wondering, how could someone behave so weirdly to their own child! How bad that little girl must be feeling 😦
Happens, Anu, I’m guess we also react in a similar way when we are stressed, I mean unknowingly. I hope she is a more loving mother when is not stressed!!

Nicely done imagery…I probably have said and done things that have wiped a few smiles… but sometimes, we get caught up in the frustrations of life and lash out at the wrong people at the wrong times. Hopefully this was one of those times for that harried mom…

I loved that story. In fact, it reminds me of how excited my 11-month old baby is to see me when I come home from office. And he expects me to pick him up and hold him immediately. But if I were to ignore him or move past without picking him up – then I get heart wrenching sobs.

OMG!!! I seriously doubt I’ve ever read something so concise and been moved to tears! Awesome. BTW many a times I too am guilty of the same thing, but I realize it in a second and then go back to my kid for that priceless hug. But maybe I have missed it too when I’m too preoccupied ? From now onward will be more careful. 🙂

So, what do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s