Humour Incidents MommySpeak

Two minutes more…

When I was younger…I mean, way when I was a child, my Mum used to wake me up every morning for school. And my standard response would be ‘Five minutes more’. After the allotted Five Minutes, I would plead for ‘Just Two minutes more..’. Sometimes she used to oblige, but considering the fact that there were two of us lazy girls around to pack to school, you could say, she was not very happy about it!

Fast-forward two and a half decades, to this weekend.

He: Wayke up, its morning!

Me: Mmmmm…(rolling under the duvet to hide)

He: Look! Its morning! Wakey..wakey!

Me: Oh please…I’m sleepy.

He: Tries pulling my duvet off, and nuzzling his nose into my ear.

Me: Hey! Hmm… 🙂 (enjoying the warmth!)…let’s sleep a little longer, please!

He: No way! Time to go!

Me: (Half the sleep has vanished by now 🙄 wondering where we HAVE to GO on a cold Sunday morning): Where the hell do we have to go?

He: Its time to play! Look, there’s the clay and building blocks!

Me: Awww…Ok fine… (He flashes a huge grin 🙂 )… Just Two Minutes More…. 😯

He: Sigh! (Thinks: Such a lazy Amma I have! 😦  )

Thought and Reason

Year of the Tiger?

Apparently, as per the Chinese calendar, 2009 was Year of the Ox. But, what will all the scandalous news of Tiger Woods on the prowl, this definitely was Year of the Tiger, and for all the wrong reasons.

Read this exceptional article for a quick summary of the Year of Deception, as the author terms it!

Many people are outraged at Woods’ deception, and think sponsorships falling out ‘serves him right’!

I think otherwise. For a couple of reasons.

1- Nobody, absolutely nobody is a saint. If Woods has been unfaithful to his wife, then he is not the first (and certainly not the last) man in the world to do so. People assumed he was a perfect husband, and it was this belief that was hurt most, in the infamous car crash that brought the whole scandal to light!

2- The reason corporates sponsor(ed) Woods was his golfing success, and not on him being a ‘faithful husband’ or a ‘role model for the next generation, due to his impeccable character’. I think what appeals most to people is ‘SUCCESS’. Woods was successful in golf, and therefore people were attracted to him, because people identify with role models and believe they can become successful like the champions themselves, in whatever field they choose. Accenture, for example, was also piggy-back riding on this huge wave of success.

I would be shocked if Woods’ affairs were never known to anyone, or never been rumoured about. Quite unlikely, that ‘womanzing’ (as it were!) to this extent, could be kept under wraps for so many years, don’t you think?!

3- I have a (probably) skewed image of Western culture, where I believe many people do not quite believe in ‘one man/one woman’ relationships. (Now, this is entirely an image derived from Hollywood, which is why I said this is a probably skewed). So, the fact that the media and public are outraged at Woods’ dishonesty surprises me.

Anyway, I am not as worried about Woods’ reputation or his career, or the suggestion that ‘he has sinned, and ought to be punished’ as I am about the self-assumed moral policing that people are doing. Who are these people, who shout out loud, that someone else has ‘sinned’. Who are these ‘perfect virtuous souls’? It would be quite interesting to meet them!

Can anybody forget a certain Miss Lewinsky, who became almost as popular as the personality with whom she was involved? But, public apology by Clinton AND ACCEPTANCE by Hillary Clinton is what clinched the deal with the public. We assume its a case of ‘alls well that ends well’. Ofcourse, the apology and acceptance was staged at the right time, and even now, people regard the Clintons with respect.

What’s more? Lewinsky became a celebrity AND a role model (?!!) AFTER the scandal broke out!

Not so in the case of Woods. He is no more a ‘golfer’. He is now a ‘womanizer’ and cheat!

I do feel sorry for him. He certainly deserves to be bashed, for not respecting that beautiful institution called ‘marriage’.

(If you asked me my reaction had this happened with me, I would be furious, and devastated. Ofcourse, if there was this huge a fortune at stake, then I too would follow in the footsteps of Mrs Wood 😉 )

However, I don’t think public outrage is justified. Afterall, if people took him for a role model, it is they themselves, who assumed other virtues in him. Why ostracise him for their own beliefs?

Plus, I think this is all simply ‘Breaking news’ by the media, for the public to lap up.

One well-rehearsed apology, and a wife who is willing to play along, and all is forgotten! Woods could have hired a PR agent to bail him out of this!

Again, I am not suggesting this ought to have been done. All I am saying is, the entire scandal would be forgotten in a few years time. Ofcourse, it will leave an indelible mark on Woods and anything associated with him.

But otherwise, people will forget. Life would go on, just the same. Until, the next scandal hits the news stands. Does anyone really care?!!

What is your take on this?

(Interestingly, 2010 is supposed to be Year of the Tiger 🙄 🙄 )


Chennai, here we come!

After much debating if we should make a trip to hometown (Chennai) , we finally decided to go for it! So yay, shopping and packing are in progress, and we should be there in a week’s time! Looking forward to meeting up with Chennai bloggers 🙂 🙂 🙂 and anyone else who might drop into town 🙂

Btw, Merry Christmas to all of you. Another post follows for ‘Appy New Year’!

Awards Thought and Reason

2009 – Year of blogging!!

As you already know, its the last two days for sending in nominations for the Avant Garde Bloggies Award.

All you need to do is check out the Categories here (spreadsheet) and here (additional categories) and write down your nominations in the Comments section on the blog.

I have sent in Nominations Part 1 and Part 2 already, and will be sending in a couple more today.

And I want to thank Hitchy, Dreamer and Smitha , Monika AND Urmila, for having nominated some of my posts in Fiction, Poetry (Lol) and Culinary categories (:roll: ). Thank you so much, people, you made my day!!

Now, these are the posts I’ve written this year. (Thank you, IHM, for sharing the secret 😉 to the archives code 🙄 )

So if you liked any of these, please do remember me 🙂 whenever the voting phase begins.


(Signing off from a snowy land)

Incidents MommySpeak

Of Wishes and Genies

Once upon a time, a little boy found an old plastic box (carefully preserved by his mommy, to store whatever-manages-to-fit-inside at unspecified-later-date).

To make things interesting, his Mommy said to him: ‘Rub the box and see if a Genie appears!’

The little boy is very excited, and rubs the box vigorously. The mommy jumps with bang, and announced, in a booming voice: ‘I am the Genie. Make a wish, little master’.

The boy did not flinch. He replied, ‘I wish for Princess Jasmine’

The mommy gaped!

The boy repeated himself: ‘I said, I wish for Princess Jasmine. She lives THERE’ (pointing towards the TV).

So off went the mommy, to make his little wish come true… to turn the TV on to seek Princess Jasmine!

Incidentally, it snowed that day, and there was no signal 😦 so the Genie was quite powerless!

And then, Voila! Youtube rescued the Genie.

And this is what the little boy watched:

End of story!

Humour Incidents

My dead grandPaa (part-fiction, part-rant)

Every time I see the Promos for the film ‘Paa‘, I think of how strange it would be if my Grandfather were alive. For some unknown reason, Auro reminds me of the GrandPaa I never had. He died before I was even born.

[Pic courtesy Sulekha dot com]

My only memory of him are fragments of a story I’d heard somewhere, sometime (from my Grandmother, perhaps). That he was on the battlefield, and was severely hurt, along with a friend. And whilst they lay there to die, he felt thirsty, and managed somehow, to find a bottle of water. Just as he was about to take a sip, his friend motioned for some. And this gentleman thought for a second, and then selflessly gave away his water to the friend. And that was the final self-sacrificial of Mr.Raman. (Mr.Raman was my grandfather, as you might have smartly guessed by now).

So that was my impression of this stately looking gentleman.  Talking of looks, he was dashing! One look at his wedding photographs, and I had this huge crush. ‘Handsome’ would be an understatement.

A few years ago, on a visit to our ancestral village (called Poondi), we had an unforgettable taste of life in the early century (this century, ofcourse. Don’t ask me if it is the 20th or 21st or 22nd century.. am always confused about this logic – apart from many other things, that is).

The entire village was made up of just a few streets. Rows and rows of neatly built houses. Each with a frontyard, cool bench along the wall (to sit and chew paan, perhaps), thatched roof, tiny skylit hall inside, and even tinier bedrooms and bathroom.

At that impressionable age, this only proved to etch my dead GrandPaa’s image deeper in my heart.

So the last time I had a fight with my Mummy, and she said ‘How did you turn out like this? Look at your dad…such a gentleman. And you?!!”, I replied with a quick ‘And you like this? Your Daddy was so noble and you are so immature even at this age!’.

Ofcourse she didn’t take it well. I had to all but hide under the sheets like a trembling coward.

‘Whadya mean NOBLE?’, she thundered.

‘Um…(gasp)…I mean…he ..he..fought in the war!’

‘Which war?’ she boomed.

‘…Uh.. the world war? I dunno! You should know, you were his daughter!’

To my utter surprise, she did not get furious at me at all. Instead she burst out laughing!

I gaped in silence, and in a short while she had tears in her eyes, and her face was red.

‘Mummy…are you Ok?’

‘Do you know how your Grandfather died?’ she answered with a question.

‘… in war?’ (I didn’t want her to know that I knew the touching story of his sacrifice).

She again burst out laughing. Her whole body was shaking now, and tears were still streaming down her eyes.

‘He died of heart attack!’, she replied when she could control her laughter for a moment.

‘Heart attack?’, I ventured. ‘Not thirst – on the battle field?’

‘Thirst?!! The only thirst he knew was Whiskey! And what battle field are you obsessed with? He was in merchant navy! Didn’t ever see a battle. Took early retirement, couldn’t control his drinking habit. And one day, he just died of a heart attack, leaving us to fend for ourselves.’

I had just lost a battle of belief. I retreated, hurt.

Never again will I talk of my dead grandPaa. May his soul RIP.

[Edited title from ‘Fictional rant’ to ‘Part fiction part rant’]

Awards Thought and Reason

Avant Garde Awards – Nominations List 1 and 2

Came across the Avant Garde Bloggers Awards on Facebook, and landed there to see the variety of categories under which we can nominate fellow bloggers.

So, here is my first list of nominations:

1) Best Off-Beat Post -(by) Saurabh:

2) Best Movie Review Post -(by) Mayuri Sharma:

3) Best How-to Post -(by) Dreamer:

4) Most Humorous Post -(by) Mayuri Sharma again:

5) Best Satirical Post – (by NONE OTHER THAN) Quirky Indian (the King of satire):

6) Best Travel Post – (by) Swaram:

7) Best Travel Post – (by) Pixie:

8) Best Visual Post – (by) Monika:

9) Best Poetry Post -(by) Ozzymandias:

10) Best Poetry Post (again) -(by) Piper:

11) Most Networking Blogger – Our very own Kishan Kanhaiya : the one and only Hitchy Bhai!

12) Most Responsive Blogger- Our Don Solilo:

(I need to track down all those posts that made me think, laugh, and ROFL and send in my next list of nominations soon!)

Those of you who would like to add nominations please hop over HERE.

(Need I add, that if you found any of my posts interesting, please do nominate!)


Here goes LIST TWO:-

1) Best off-beat post – (by) Solilo:

2) Most humourous post – (by) Salil Ravindran

3) Best header-  Monika :

4) Best ‘How-to’ post- (by) Ordinary Guy

5) Best Poetry- (by) Mystic Margarita

Humour Incidents

H1 eNi 1?

I spent the last couple of days agonising over whether or not I had the H1N1 virus.

It started with a short visit to the Post Office. The sun happened to peep out from under its covers on Wednesday, and so I strapped the (protesting) little one into his buggy and went out. Little did I know how deceptive the sunshine was. The outside temperature was a mere 4 degrees!

So, by nightfall, I felt drained and feverish. Thursday went by in pretty much the same vein. By Friday, unfortunately, I felt worse. It was the nausea that prompted me to take the online swine flu symptoms checker. It advised me to go get my dose of Tamiflu!

I was quite crestfallen. But, I wasn’t convinced.

Until finally, it was this phone call with the flu service helpline that set all doubts aside.

Nurse: Are you normally active?

Me: Active? You mean, like doing active stuff? Ummm..! Hmm..! (finally) Yeah, somewhat. (Here, I was tempted to say ‘I surf’ (the net, dude!!) but sanity prevailed.)

Nurse: Do you have Diarrhoea?

Me: My tummy feels rather queasy today. Like I want to throw up.

Nurse: Awwwww, that’s really sad.

Much as I hate to digress, I absolutely must admire their scripts… they are so completely humane, unlike the scripts of our Indian call centres… which typically go ‘How may I help you? Interested in our Insurance product? No, Ok thank you. Can I do anything else?’ and SLAM the phone down before the person on the other line can blink his teary eyes!)

Anyway, she continues: Avoid eating fried things, or anything that could upset your stomach further.

Me: I didn’t have any fried stuff! (It was all baked or so. A packet of chilli chips, 3 Ferroro-rochers…)

Nurse (kindly ignores latter half of reply): Ok, but its alright if you don’t feel like eating anything.

Me (very emphatically!): No no, I DO feel like eating. Infact I’m hungry right now!

Nurse: (Persists very kindly): No, I completely understand, you probably just feel like having a bite of toast…

Me (thinking to myself): (What about the yummy Pav-Bhaji that I have just made?): ‘Ok’

Nurse: You must be quite dehydrated, due to the fever. You may have crushed ice.

Me: Sure (reflecting on my wise decision to gobble those mini-chocolate-ice-cones post lunch)

Nurse: Does your mind feel confused or so?

Me: Coming to think of it, YES! For instance, I was watching B4U Music yesterday, and I couldn’t remember this guy’s name… for the love of life, he is one helluva hunk, but the name completely slipped by me…

Nurse: And?

Me: (thinking of the Sarda* who laughs on Wednesday, for a joke that he heard the previous Monday) ‘It was Arjun Rampal’

Nurse (not impressed any longer with such frivolity): ‘So, I cannot confirm now, if you have a seasonal flu or swine flu’(Wow! What a revelation!!) ‘But if your symptoms take a turn for the worse, contact the swine flu helpline’

Me: Brrrr….

Nurse: And remember…

Me: (gasping again, thinking she is going to comment on my (non) diet and (non) exercise routine): ‘Yes?’

Nurse: ‘That you are not alone.. we are here 24 hours a day’

Me: How kind! (Right, 24 hours on a darn telephone line! How the hell does that help me or anyone else??)

Anyway, I am feeling better now. The aches and pains have gone, the fever resurfaces now and again, and I am certainly not as ‘active’ as before. But yeah, I’m kicking!!!!!

(P.S 1: Some of the above are fictional.. like the 3 ferroro-rochers & ice-creams .. it was, in fact, merely one!!)

(P.S 2: On a serious note, sickness is not a nice thing at all! When bones shiver, eyes ache, and the tummy feels like its on a roller coaster ride, it feels very weird. So, people, if you are coming down with the flu, watch out for the symptoms, and if they take a turn for the worse, go see a proper Doctor!)

Moral of the story: Live life well, and live it today!!