Food and recipe Humour

The Two-Minute Tikka

How to make authentic-looking paneer-tikka in just two minutes. And that’s a promise!

Step 1- Place non-stick tava on hob, turn on the heat.

Step 2- Take a minute to chop the paneer into large cubes, soak in an instant marinade of ginger-garlic paste . Add a pinch of haldi, chilli powder, talcum powder…you get the drift, right? Just dump all the powders you find in your kitchen!

Step 3- By now, you see those fumes from the Tava, don’t you? Go ahead! Drop those cubes in gently. Drizzle with oil.

Step 4- Go for a walk, a crap or a pee. Whatever! Just goooooooooo!

Step 5- The final step! Within another minute (or so), you will sense that burning smell. Now, return and take a look at that pan!

You will quickly realise how authentic that Tikka looks. Beautifully smeared with charcoal all over. Covered in smoke! Infact, your entire kitchen will resemble a tandoor!

(On second thoughts, we could probably rename this ‘Smoked Tandoori Paneer Tikka’ or something that sounds just as exotic!)

So, all you need to do now is scrape the stuff off the Tava, spread on a white porcelain plate, garnish with fresh coriander and add a dollop of tangy chutney or ketchup.

(Awwww… I wish I had taken a picture of the da*n dish yesterday! You would have loved to see it!)

Bon Appétit!

36 replies on “The Two-Minute Tikka”

Definitely I would have loved to see that ‘Smoked Tandoori Paneer Tikka’ ! The epitome of a culinary experience that epitomizes the human endeavour to go the xtra mile of excellence ! 😀

Me: ROFL @ ‘…xtra mile of excellence..’ 🙂 🙂

How I wish I could see it too 🙂 See this is where I go wrong 🙂 I don’t leave the kitchen 🙂

And what about your smoke alarm :)Mine goes off sometimes if I burn my toast 😦

Me: Exactly, Smiths! U need to go out, you know. As for the fire alarm… SIMPALLLL…take the battery out. No battery, no alarm!! See! 😉 😉

Me too :p

Pal, you really ought to write a cookbook for the newly-wed bride out to impress the MIL. They’d never go wrong unlike all those perfect Nigella Lawson & Tarla Dalals 😛

Me: Woooww Supps! What a brilliant idea. If this ever gets into print, I will certainly give you credit 😉 (Not royalty, though 😉 😉 ) Btw, very nice pics of your blogger meet in Delhi! Envy you girls 😦

Good job…and Kudos to you for coming up with such an exciting dish…..
Maybe you should contact Sanjeev Kapoor and give him your recipe…LOL:)

Me: M.R, you flatter me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Infact , Sanjeev Kapoor should contact me, right?

//how I wish I had taken a picture of the da*n dish yesterday! //

I believe u wished only to take a snap 😉 Not to eat it 😛

Me: Ouch! You spotted that, didn’t you? Hmmm…I fed it to sonny , who very graciously accepted a few pieces, and then..ahem..the rest is better left unsaid!

Smoked Tandoori Paneer Tikka – when r u gonna prepare it next 😛

Me: Whenever you want, Swaram! Make a trip here 🙂

So, while trying to make Paneer Tikka, you ended up making Smoked Paneer Tikka, with a black coating as though you’ve toasted on charcoal – Thats a wonderful idea, to do tandoor at home, on a tava 😆 !!!!

Me: Exactly, Uma! Btw, I wasn’t even trying to make Tikka! Hee haw! Was attempting to make a gravy, but you know… serendipity!

Now this looks like something… even I would not screw up ! It involves smoking and blackening already 😀 😀

Shall be tried!

Me: LOL! LOL!!! Pliss to try and share success story!!

ooho! thanks for the recipe, I will surely try it 😉 tee hee!!!!!!!

btw, I know how to make palak paneeer now. It rocks 😛 😛 but sadly it takes more that 2 mins to make!!!!!! 😛 😛 😛 😛 ROFL!!!

Me: Oh really? Ditcher!!! Sari, post pics pliss and I will try it out.

Fantastic piece !! I do really want to learn to make Paneer Tikka once I am back from my trip. Hopefully I will have some nice pics to share 😛 haha

Me: Goody! Atleast then we will see the real stuff 🙂

You know what I had not guessed this is another one to add into your famous recipes … Step 4 was when I knew what dish are we heading for 😀 …. maybe this is the reason my mom doesn’t allow me into the kitchen … not even for chopping the vegetable 😉

Me: My recipies are always ‘recipies for disaster’, Dmanji! LOL at your mom not allowing you into the kitchen. Wise decision, I must say 😉

He he he, you are smart, Shilpa!! Thank you so much for visiting, and also for promoting it on Indivine. Awfully sweet of you. Hopping over to your blog now 🙂

You know, me being a foodie, I was so excited when I saw the two minute tikka recipie…I started imagining myself cooking it also,….
Alas when I read the recipie…well I enjoyed the humour…really….I like I like……

@ Shahid – He he, sorry to disappoint 😉

@ Liz – LOL! Exactly! And they even have the gall to Photoshop the pics. Atleast this is pure honesty 😉 😉

200% authentic and genuinely tried and tested recipe, Sush 🙂 All my recipies are through trial and error…though more error and less trial. Thanks for visiting my blog, will hop right over to yours!

hehe.. hey after 2 min noodles now i know 2 min tikka.. and i have just posted 2 min soup on my blog .. now i have become a champion as i can prepare ful mean in six minutes.. lol.. soup + tikka + noodles = 6 mins ..Awesome!! 😉
thnx for the recipe 🙂
Wow Ruchika, that is awesome! Will check out your blog soon!!

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Marketing Team
The Tasty Tangles
(Mumbai, Bangalore, Delhi)

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