‘In silent sufferance” is the fortnightly theme on S&Co. and this is my contribution.
Eleven long hours its been,
Since the shores of my homeland seen
The inflight music, an incessant drone
Someone, lend me an ear-phone!
I stretch, I bend, and wince and moan,
Muffled sounds, I piteously groan
I turn to my left, and then to my right,
Arrrgh! This is one horrible night!
Until finally, with valour I stare
At the pot-bellied man, who polished his fare!
He looks at me, lets a toothy smile,
Phew! That gust of wind smells vile!!
The aloo-tikki has done its job
That awful mooli on the hob!
With a happy ‘Burrrrp’, he rubs his tummy
Winks at me, and asks ‘Some rummy?’
I weakly smile, pretend I’m homesick
In unstated misery, I see my watch tick
When? Oh when..will this journey end
Oh! Run for cover! He’s going to bend!
How I wish I could summon the crew
And have thrown this monster, into the loo!
Or push him out of the aircraft? Don’t!!
I would if I could, but I can’t so I won’t!
Please let me know what you think. I think it needs a lot of re-work. Editing, Tweaking, whatever. Suggestions/critique eagerly sought 🙂
30 replies on “‘In silent sufferance’ – Plane and simple”
me first!!! wow 😀
ROFL too good pal
Me: First ofcourse, Mon 🙂 Glad you liked it!
Lolzzz Good one 🙂
Me: Thank you Prats 🙂
Good one Pal!
You know right? I’m your biggest fan when it comes to your poetry and short stories!! 🙂 🙂
Me: Pixu, you are a little darling! Seriously! thank you 🙂 So glad we are friends!
So you were the pretty one sitting on my right
I thought you looked a little bit dazed and uptight
reason I gave you that toothy smile to say it’s alright
now that you’ve said what you thought I feel contrite.
Pallavi, just beautiful. Perfect! 🙂
Me: Thank you, PRG, for that lovely verse! So now I know which flights I must avoid 😉
I didn’t know that I made you so annoyed
so as to plan what flights you should avoid
you have completely my self esteem destroyed
I am reduced to something less than an android. 😦
Me: LOL! Wish I could come up with a 4-liner, or even a 2-liner to respond to that!
before I say nething … what is S & Co. ??
Me: Ooops..sorry, should have made that clearer. Its an informal writer’s forum called Shakespeare and Co, hosted on Ryze network. And you must see the quality of writing there…mind-blowing! I feel intimidated to even post a comment on their work!
heyyy, thats a funny poem ! Wish most of the poems are like this — understand-able 😉
Me: Oh no! Is this understandable? Then its not a poem at all 🙂 🙂
ROFL 😀 Nice work, Pal. Humour in verse, not an easy job that. esp liked the line “Oh! Run for cover! He’s going to bend!” 😀
Me: Glad you liked it, Dreamer! Thank u so much 🙂
🙂 LOL 😆
I love rhymes that are fun…!!
Yeah, each and every one 🙂
Mooli parathas have a bad name
Rajma and Chole have similar fame?
But the paranthas are yum
Superb slurrrrpy ekdum!!
Only when the finger licking is done 😆
Like musical pipes and rolling drum
Every morsel relished better than whiskey or rum
Wants to announce it’s presence from the tum 😉
Ah then the real celebrations begin!
Why does good taste,
On the way to becoming a waste
Feel like such a sin 😈
Pass another one please,
Add some gobhi and green peas 🙂
Me: LOL! Wow! Did you write that in a jiffy? That’s cool, IHM!
Ha..ha.. good one!
Me: Thanku Soli 🙂
LOL 😆 Gud one Pal 🙂
Me: LOL 🙂 Once, there was this lady on the flight, and every time she opened her mouth, I would want to die!!
simply sooperb pals…
Me: Nish, thankuuuuu 🙂
This is hillarious !!! 😆
Me: He he, thank you. Your earlier comment was equally funny 😉
I love to read poetry… but am bad at being a critique 🙂
Me: And I don’t even like poetry. I like rhymes and fast-paced poems, though, but simply cannot stand what they call ‘free verse’. 🙂
Thanks for visiting my blog 🙂
The poem dint look like one written based on a theme.. It was so lively and had a natural flow. Congratulations 🙂
Me: Thank you for returning the visit, G3. Will be regular on your blog hereafter 🙂 And thank you very much for your words of appreciation 🙂
adutha TR udhayamaagitaanga pola 😀
(not sure if u know tamil..next TR on the rising 😀 cha..major sundarrajan mathiri aidichi 🙂 )
is this one wrote on a theme!! 2 gud
Me: Che! Poyium poyium TRaaa? Yes, this is on a theme 🙂
enga thaanai thalaivar TRku ennaga kuraichal…agila ulaga TR rasigarmanram mumbai kilai saarbaaga ithai naan vanmaiyaaga aatchebikiren
Me: LOL 🙂 🙂 No comments 😉
Pal, u know tamil ?????
Uma- Spent all my life in Tamil Nadu 🙂
its superb, funny and light Pals… I liked it 🙂 🙂
Me: Thanku very very much, Kanagu 🙂
Seeing a poem I got serious and then you turned it into Laugh riot … 😀 easier to read a humorous poem ….
Me: Thank you so much, Dman. I don’t like serious stuff at all 🙂
hilarious,Pal!laughed my heart out 🙂
Me: Thank you verry much, Deeps!
hohohoh 😛 superb hillarious
Me: Oh thank you 🙂 And, thank you also, for all those lovely comments!
I like the rhyme maintained through out the prose, I know its tough to find similar sounding words fitting to the requirement
Me: Thank you PS. You bet, it is 🙂
Hi Pals,
You have been awarded:
http://kanaguonline.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/awards-time/
Me: Hey, thank you!! Just checked out your blog and will be back to collect the awards 🙂
Dont doubt, Pal – This poem is indeed a very gud one !!!
BTW, how have u been ??? Its been a long time in Bloggy world, for me. Just finished reading all your blogs, which I missed here. Belated Happy Birthday to your little Aladin FAN !!!! The TAG was interesting and the Dentist episode was super funny !!!! Did u go for the next appt ??? Pl make sure they do the right tooth, this time.
Me: Thank you for missing me, Ums! I’ve been away too, and just managed to respond to all these lovely comments!
Wow that is some gas-tronomical ass-ault
Me: Heee haaaaawwww! Ritu, you amaze one by your word-play!!
Too good!
btw Congratulations! 6th position @ the ‘Indiblogger of the Month’! Not bad at all 🙂
Thank u, Rosh! Hey, how did u find out the Indiblogger results? 6th ? Thank you for letting me know. And thanks to all my friends who voted 🙂