Humour Poem

‘In silent sufferance’ – Plane and simple

‘In silent sufferance” is the fortnightly theme on S&Co. and this is my contribution.

Eleven long hours its been,
Since the shores of my homeland seen

The inflight music, an incessant drone
Someone, lend me an ear-phone!

I stretch, I bend, and wince and moan,
Muffled sounds, I piteously groan

I turn to my left, and then to my right,
Arrrgh! This is one horrible night!

Until finally, with valour I stare
At the pot-bellied man, who polished his fare!

He looks at me, lets a toothy smile,
Phew! That gust of wind smells vile!!

The aloo-tikki has done its job
That awful mooli on the hob!

With a happy ‘Burrrrp’, he rubs his tummy
Winks at me, and asks ‘Some rummy?’

I weakly smile, pretend I’m homesick
In unstated misery, I see my watch tick

When? Oh when..will this journey end
Oh! Run for cover! He’s going to bend!

How I wish I could summon the crew
And have thrown this monster, into the loo!

Or push him out of the aircraft? Don’t!!
I would if I could, but I can’t so I won’t!

Please let me know what you think. I think it needs a lot of re-work. Editing, Tweaking, whatever. Suggestions/critique eagerly sought 🙂

Humour Incidents

Fight to the tooth!

I hate dentists. Period.

No, Comma.

Because, yesterday, I had a very interesting session at the Dentistry.

It started with a very sweet-looking dentist asking me, ‘Is there any change in your medical history?’

While I thought it was absurd to have ‘medical history for a darn tooth’, she was so polite and kind, that I just couldn’t be rude. I replied in the negative.

And ofcourse, I didn’t want to admit that of late, hot/cold stuff sent that slightest twinge of pain in the tooth (if you know what I mean). An admission of that sort would definitely mean a filling … or a root-canal… or even an extraction (at worst!)

And I wasn’t going to give them ideas! They were only trainees afterall. What if they decided to ‘experiment’ stuff on me?!

Talking of ‘experimenting’, while I sat there, dumb and numb, another girl walked up, and carefully explained something to these girls – instructions to operate the machinery!! ‘Left lever to blow air, and right, for suction’. WTH was going on? ‘That’s for the tools, and this lever is to lower the chair…blah..blah…’

I looked around nervously, until I spotted the chief doctor. I flashed a smile at him, hoping that he wouldn’t have forgotten me from our last visit (You know… the time when he tried to examine Rishi’s teeth, and the little brat kicked him! Hmm … on second thoughts, I guess I rather prefer him not remembering!)

Ok, so these Finnish trainee dentists (with all due respect) proceeded to show me X-Rays from the previous appointment, and explained the treatment.

Now, I was sooper-doooper impressed. When I visit my old dentist in India, the first thing he does, is call his ancient assistant, and scan through fourty equally ancient manuscripts…I mean, ledgers, find my name, and related notes scribbled in different coloured ink all over the yellow, tattered pages. While all these ‘trainees’ did was deftly click a mouse, and Lo! It was all there on the computer…the so-called ‘medical history’ and whatever!

Happily, I offered to help the girls, by opening my mouth wide, and explaining that a filling was ‘supposedly cracked’.

What happened next was rather interesting. This girl quickly called out to her assistant, and then she called out to the chief Doc. He was so charming… he took a look and said ‘Wow! This looks just like the beginning of the English Chunnel’!

So, the next two hours were a session of intense drilling and filling, and re-filling. As Chief Doc. very kindly explained, the ‘filling was so much, that if I went swimming, the weight (- of the filling, mind you) – would drag me down!’

I must admit I was completely enthralled by their procedures and state-of-the-art equipment. At first they gave a delicious local anasthetic…it was just like chewing-gum. When the gums became a little numb, they injected a more intense local anasthetic, and it was fun. It increased my heart beat, and then, I couldn’t feel a thing. I mean, I knew they were knocking out bits of my tooth and all, but there was no such thing as pain or blood.

Unlike my previous experiences, where I would have to stop my old dentist every second or third minute, to either complain of the pain, or to tiredly spit out blood like a war-hero, along with pieces of cement (or composite or amalgam, as the case might be!)

They even gave me a pair of goggles to wear, so my eyes wouldn’t be hurt. Now, wasn’t that cool? That’s why I thought to myself, ‘dentists aren’t bad afterall!’

Finally, it was over. My jaws ached badly. The girls were visibly tired. I was exhausted too, but satisfied, and relieved. Normally, I would shy away from ‘re-appointments’ but when they suggested I return in a couple of weeks, I agreed quite happily.

I mean,  with this sort of pain-free, professional treatment, ‘Yeah! Sure! Why ever not?’

Just as I left, the Chief Doc came over to enquire how I felt. (More impressed, by the service!) I gushed over, about the girls being so good and all that.

He seemed really pleased. He said, ‘Perfect! I’m glad you’re feeling well. I promise you, the next visit will be much easier!’

‘Thank you’, I gratefully smiled back.

‘Definitely! Next time will be very smooth. As you know, this was an awkward one to do! It being the very last tooth’

I nodded wisely.

He nodded wisely.

The girls looked at me, with sympathy, and also nodded wisely.


Ofcourse, it was too late. And I didn’t want to burst the ‘happy bubble’ of those who assumed they had just performed some exquisite restoration work!

So now, I have a non-tooth that has been excavated and restored, a broken tooth that is painful, and rows of other teeth that used to be OK until yesterday, but that have a very strange tingling sensation today!

The good thing is, I also have another appointment in Nov.

‘I hate dentists’ … err…have I mentioned that already?


(Signing off, tired)

Humour Incidents Thought and Reason

Why I think he’s a baby, and why he isn’t!

Today being the eve of my ‘baby’s’ third birthday, I decide to give him a nice magical movie evening!

So here we are, cuddled on the sofa, watching ‘Aladin and the King of Thieves’.

Me: ‘Baby?’

Baby: Silence

Me: ‘Are you hungry?’

Baby: More silence, mouth open, gaping at Aladin and Jasmine

Me (patience wearing out): ‘BABY! Hungry?’

Baby (finally): ‘But sorry, Amma, I’m watching Aladin.’

Me (gushing about my ‘baby’ talking so much!): ‘Oh shooo shweeeet!’

Baby (without blinking): ‘Is Aladin going to kiss the girl now?’

Me: ????****!!!!!???****

*** Happy Birthday, my dearest little boy! ***

Incidents Thought and Reason

Indiblogger and me

I do like Indiblogger. Not because they have given me a good rank. My rank, infact falls, every month, and is down from 79 to 65!!

But I do like the fact that (a) they provide a decent platform for bloggers to share their work. And (b) the Blog of the Month contests.


Talking of which, my blog has been nominated this time (don’t ask by whom!! I helped myself 😉 ).

So, in case you haven’t already seen your favourite blogger listed there, or haven’t cast your vote for someone else already, please do vote for me.

Here is the link to VOTE.

And this is the title of my blog: ‘I am no writer’ by ‘Pal’

These are the links to the posts that I dare categorise as ‘poetry’….he he!

1- The Ghost (all you lovely folks have already been very receptive to this spooky post)

2- A walk in the rain (this one will make you go ‘awwwwww….’)

3- End of the road (this is my favourite)

4- I yearn (this isn’t mushy at all, go ahead and read it)

5- Holi hai (wait..there’s a twist here..its not about Holi after all!)

On another note, many of my blogger friends have been nominated too. Ozzy, Pushpy, Shail, Aaroo, Tikuli, Prats (to name a few) … so if you choose to vote for them, I won’t get back at you – at all 🙂

You can vote for upto 5 favourite blogs. So pliss to remember to vote for my blog, also titled ‘I am no Writer’ 🙂

OK then, so in case you haven’t done so already, please log into your Indiblogger account and vote!


Innocent or guilty – Sach ka saamna (Tag)

Though not a big fan of TAGS, its been quite some time since I did one, and I kind of miss them! Spotted this new tag today, on this interesting blog and decided to take it up. With the sole intention of passing it on to you folks 😉

Here we go!

RULE 1 – You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2 – You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
RULE 3 – Copy and paste this into your notes, delete mine and type in your answers and tag your friends to answer this.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex. Innocent

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent
Oh God!

Ever told a lie? Guilty!
Ofcourse! Come on!

Kissed a picture? Guilty!
Why not!

Asked someone to marry you. Guilty!
Some things just ought to be done in Life 😉

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty!
Will sleep all day if I had a chance!

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty!
Yippee! Happy to be Guilty about this.

Held a snake? Innocent

Been suspended from school? Unfortunately, quite Innocent
Tried it in college, but the Profs. forgave us ‘bunking’ classes for a movie because we apologised on being caught!

Stolen from a store? Guilty!
In my childhood 😦

Been fired from a job? Innocent
Does indirect layoff count as being fired?

Done something you regret? Guilty!
All the time! Like the pizza I ate yesterday 😦 or the all-butter croissants the day before, or…never mind!!

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty!
He he! Love this ques… makes me happy!

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent
Hope to do it this winter!

Kissed in the rain? Sinnocent
Next thing on the To Do list 😉

Sat on a roof top? Guilty!
Friends, rooftop, stars in the sky…good old days!

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Sadly, Innocent 😉

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent

Donated Blood? Innocent
Though I tried to, but they sent me back saying the Iron count was low!

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty!
Yep yep, and hated it!

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent
N/A. Btw, I believe there are No rules in love!

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent
Another ‘To Do’ item now!

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent
Always make it a point to tell 😉

Been too honest? Guilty!
That’s what is called ‘being stupid’!

Ruined a surprise? Innocent
Am really good at keeping surprises.

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty!

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty!
Wicked! Do it on regular basis.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty!
Dressed like Superman once 😉 No questions, please!


I hereby tag the foll. people :-


and IHM

Go on now….your turn to bare…the truth, I mean!!

Edited to add: Sigh! Seems like a few people have already done this tag…as per reports from Hitchy Bhai. So, if you have already done, it, do leave the link, so I can read!

Awards Incidents

Of stars that were colourful..

Once again, a very Happy Deepavali!! or Happy Diwali!!! (as you like it!)

If you are reading this post, it means you had a nice and safe Diwali, and I hope it was exciting and happy too 🙂

Our Diwali morning went off rather quietly (I had to go out on some work, so ‘Knight and Baby Hunk’ – read ‘Hubby and Kid’ remained indoors), but the evening was lovely. A new friend had invited us over for a fireworks party, and OH MY! What a range of fireworks there was, and all by the banks of the river Thames.

Also, this is my little boy’s first active Deepavali…meaning, he was a real baby until now, so didn’t actively participate with the crackers et al, but yesterday was different. The first time I showed him a sparkler, he RAN!! I had to chase him and bring him back. Slowly, he got into the groove of things, and by the end of the evening, he had held four sparklers, and had watched open-mouthed, amazed at the countless colourful, sparkling stars that lit up the cloudess night sky.

My only crib is that we didn’t have the foresight to have the camera ready. I wish we had taken a couple of pictures!

[Special thanks to little Pixie, for suggesting that we make fond memories of our first Diwali away from home].

And now, back to AWARDS! Yippee!

Swaram had very sweetly given me all these awards…

  • I love your Blog (goes to all the blogroll) loveblogaward111
  • Addicting Blog Award (again, to the blogroll)
  • Inspirational blogger (I pass this on to ‘TATTOO’, for her beautiful work, though she hardly blogs anymore)

Dmanji had received tons of awards in Sep. and had passed it onto his Blogroll and Commentators.

  • I choose this one – ‘Blogbuddies’, and pass it onto EVERYONE in my blogroll and all those who are kind enough to lurk or leave comments 🙂blog_buddies


  • I also pick Super Scribbler, in order to share it with:superscribbler

Hitchy (Now take your turn on Scrabble!!)

  • Out of sheer greed, I pick this award too, especially because I want to pass it on to some exceptional bloggers: The Most Stylish Blogger award.stylishblog


So, that’s it, people!! Have a happy Sunday, and a good week ahead.


Incidents Thought and Reason

Too much and too less

There’s been too much going on of late, and Time just seems too less.

As most of you who are on FB know, I had an eventful Friday.

I turned over a new leaf and set the alarm to wake me at 5 in the morning. Which it did. And the sleepy-head that I am/was, I walked into the kitchen quite hazily, only to find the washing machine making some queer whirrrrrrrrrrr sounds, as if groaning from stomach-ache. So I turned it off, and opened the door (its a front-loading thing), and guess what? Water GUSHED out! I shut it back immediately (what presence of mind, eh?), but could still hear the water POURING INTO the machine. That’s when I hit the panic button. No outflow, and extremely high inflow!

Knight in shining armour, Hubby, came to rescue me. But Lo! The valve to shut the water inflow was MISSING! The main valve was rusted and refused to budge a millimetre. While knight oiled the valve, the machine threatened to burst open with a vengeance, so I had to succumb and open it myself. This time, however, I placed a bucket under the door, so managed to catch half the water atleast! My exercise for the day/week/month was complete, as I mopped the rest of the water from the floor!

When the precious main valve finally agreed to turn, the entire house went still for a moment. And we took a deep breath! No water for  the next couple of hours, but atleast, there wasn’t going to be any more flooding!

So yeah, that’s how Friday went!

Saturday was better, with a fantastic birthday party at Sanyash’s place. They had kept a Racer theme, and the hosts and guests both did absolute justice to it. I was the official camera(wo)man and had a great time. My little brat, needless to say, raced away until it was time to leave.

Sunday, again, proved mildly eventful. I opened the fridge first thing in the morning, and Lo and Behold! The satchet of milk I had bought on Sat. evening had disappeared!! I looked all over the place. No sign! It finally struck me. The entire thing had leaked out, and the vegetable trays (just below the shelf) were full of milk!! So, another round of cleaning (without swearing, can you beat that? *Patting my back**) and there began our Sunday.

Monday was pretty calm.

Tuesday and Wednesday went in our regular routine… shopping..blah..blah.

And here we are, on the brink of Deepavali 2009! With no plans whatsoever. Infact, this is our first Diwali outside home. We are usually in India at this time, and yes, feeling somewhat homesick 😦

But let’s see… maybe, Diwali will have something pleasant in store for us?

Cheerio, folks! Have a very Happy Diwali too 🙂


The Ghost

She would sit hunched,
Every night.
Ever watchful
Of Ghosts
Lurking behind shadows.

Waiting patiently,
Every night.
Adamantly keeping open
Drooping, heavy eyelids,
Ears tuned to whispers from the unknown.

She would fall into an abyss
Some nights,
Of sleep, so overpowering
He would then appear
In her dreams.

Caressing her gently
At night…
His touch, cool and tender
on her hot forehead.
But when she awoke, startled

She would find darkness
Every night!
And then she would wish for
An apparition, even frightful
Of the ghost of her lover!

For ghosts,
Were more tangible
Than dreams.


(Girls/Guys, you know that I know a sh*t about poetry..but I attempted this on some sudden …ahem.. inspiration. Please let me know, HONESTLY, what you think? Does it seem, even from a distance, something like a poem?… Thankidou!)

Thought and Reason

Raising funds for flood victims

Dear Bloggers/Readers,

A friend of mine (who blogs here) has started raising funds to help the victims of floods in Andhra Pradesh.

An extract from her mail:

‘…As a pay back to the society to which we come from we thought of appealing to all of you to contribute what you can, so that we can relieve the misery of our fellow citizens to the extent we can.’

For details of the fund account or address to which cheques may be sent, please head over to the appeal in her blog.

So, guys and girls, its up to you…if you can contribute, even a teeny tiny little bit, please do so.

Like they say, every little helps.

And, what goes around, always comes around 🙂

If possible, and if you are interested, please can you also help spread the word around?

Thank you!!