I never watch Star TV. Its rubbish. Totally. And we don’t get Sach Ka Saamna yet, so there’s really no point in tuning into this channel. I accidentally turned the TV on, and this programme was being aired:
I watched, appalled at the casual way in which this guy…(Shall we just call him – The Polygamist – TP) admitted to having an illicit relationship with another woman, and also having a child with her. There he is, standing in court, with both women!
This is what struck me:-
1- The polygamist – Ashok – Looked absolutely cool! He showed no trace of shame or guilt. The only emotion he displayed was distress – at the thought of having to pay some monthly maintenance amount for both families.
2- The wife – Looked resigned to her fate. She has simply watched her husband living with another woman, and even having an illegitimate child with her. She has been abused by him. Disrespected. And ignored. And there she is, standing by the side of her husband. Like good wife Hillary Clinton next to the respectable (ahem!) Mr.Clinton during the Lewinsky affair! And all she claims is for her to be provided for.
3- The mistress – Looked equally resigned too! Like they were all part of one happy family. She actually called the wife ‘Didi’! And all she wanted was her child (an 18 year adult himself!!) back.
And what was the great Verdict?
That the man shall pay a monthly maintenance charge to provide for both his families, and shall not see the mistress again.
What was Kiran Bedi thinking when she passed that sort of judgement?
-Does this man even deserve a family?
-Should he not be divorced from his wife AND separated from the mistress?
-Shouldn’t he be restricted from seeing his children any more? Its not like he has been providing for them or caring for them all through their growing years!
Post-judgement. These were the reactions:
1- The polygamist – Spoke a poorly-rehearsed line about how he made that mistake (of having a second family) without thinking of the consequences.
2- The mistress – She actually cried, because her ‘child’ would miss his ‘father’!
3- The wife – Now this lady really took the cake!! She was all smiles. And why? Because she ‘got her man back’.
So, is this the moral of the story??
Men: Have as many affairs as you want, all you need to do is, come back to your wife at the end of the day
Women: Don’t worry, your man will be back. And you can legally claim maintenance charges from him.
Is this is the message the programme conveyed?!
WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON THERE?????!!!
Two women fighting for one man’s affections and/or attentions? Its not like he is a handsome hunk or even a responsible dad!
This man has disrespected the santity of marriage, and has not even accorded his wife the basic respect that another human being deserves.
And the wife? After all those years of humiliation, actually is happy to be back with the traitor that is her husband! Doesn’t she have an iota of self-respect??
I don’t know! I am really appalled at all the above – the man being so brazen, the mistress being so cool, and the wife being so subservient.
But most of all, I am shocked that Ms.Kiran Bedi let this man off the hook, so very easily.
I am sure all the pativrata Bharatiya naaris were delighted at the judgement. A happy ending to a sad story!
Please let me know your thoughts.
On another note, I am ecstatic that this blog post has been selected by Blogadda in its Spicy Saturday Picks! Thank you, BlogAdda and thank you, my dearest friends, for continuing to read and encourage me 🙂
Writer-z-block 
52 replies on “The true Bharatiya Naari @ Aap ki kachehri”
utter bullshit I tell ya! Its pbly all staged up – this show seems to be something on the line of Maury`s show or even Judge Judy – all trash tv shows that they show here in the US. Dont waste time seeing them Pal, it`ll only get your BP high. What absolute crap yaar!
aha! me first :):)
and i thought probably this is my only chance to come first with all the comment monsters sleeping
now that its not happening let me go sleep, will come back tmrw to comment on this post
LOL!! Monu!!! 😀 😀
I loved your comment!! 😉
hee hee 🙂
Sigh! The first first thingey works here too 😉
Ughh! It is disgusting! Lucky man – to get off so easily. And what is Kiran Bedi doing in something like this ? Am so happy I never turn on Star.
I agree with Piper – utter bullshit.
what was Kiran Bedi thinking??
Sigh…
how is this helping anyone?
these are the regular people, people in villages… these kind of shows are suposed to help us break the mould…
none of that is happening now is it?
I saw the show your talking abt.That man just looked so smug and cool standing there saying “Yeah I made a mistake.So?’ Don’t thse kind of people simply piss you off? I felt like talking my belan and actually whacking him with it.
As for the judgemen, frankly I don’t see what else Kiran bedi could have said/ done. She is only a mediator/arbitrator – she can only reconcile he parties. She cannot force the parties to get a divorce or anything.The parties concerend all have to agree to her award (its not an order though it is so called by her) and they sign a consent decree.If they fail to abide by the consent decree, then the aggrived party can take he to court on the basis of non-compliance with the consent decree.
I don’t condone her show or her judgement, but all I’m saying is that she has a limited jurisdiction and I think she works quite well given her limitations. If the wife is happy to have her errant husband home, here is little Kiran bedi can do about it since she cannot compel them to get divroced.Actually no judge can compel a couple to get divorced – it has to be the decision of the couple itself.
Watch BSkyB. Get rid of Star, Zee, Colours etc.
How can people tolerate Balika Badhu? Balika is a regressive piece of trash pretending to have a social message. Yet, far many more people watch it than they do this Kiran Bedi show.
Obviously, there’s a clear disconnect between people like us and the rest of India.
Not a good sign at all.
Quirky Indian
Thank God Pal that you don’t get to see “Sach Ka Saamna” that is another “sir dard” show thats what I felt after watching a few episodes… initially you like it even write a post on it about how people are washing their dirty linen in public but then you may get bored….
The Kiran Bedi show I have not seen but seems to be staged like all the others… so I stick to song & dance reality shows & news 😀
Please avoid such programmes… !! sigh…
we never watch any reality shows now… !! maybe a few moments while surfng… !!
Its best to see histroy channel, discovery, nat geo, aniaml planet, travel and living, sports channles or movie channels… or music channels…
if you stil need to watch hindi.. its best to see sab tv… no brains there.. but atleast they dont get to you… !!!!!!
🙂 so what’s the issue.!!? iam happy with the verdict.. 😉
it could be..serial need popularity and you blogger’s are give it.
but actually if i remember correctly according to indian law (from some case in newspapers).. adultery is criminal for men but not for woman… law is biased together woman.
@ Piper: True..I felt the same way…so very staged and rehearsed. And Ms.Bedi was just playing along with the audience, and giving a judgement that was expected of her! And yes, you are FIRST indeed 🙂
@ Monu: LOL @ ‘..comment monsters…’ 🙂
@ Smitha: Lucky man indeed! He does not even look repentful! Or maybe he would, had the judge been a MAN! Ms.Bedi is, afterall, another woman. And he has already shown how much respect he has for them!!
@ Pixu: I think, like SMM says, there is little Ms.Bedi can do – in reality. So , I guess this is the only message she can convey to the masses without getting into a controversy or letting the show become unpopular and ‘unacceptable’ according to the Indian mentality.
@ Supps: I see where you are coming from. She does have limited jurisdiction, I agree. But then, someone like her – who HAS the opportunity to knock some sense into the man – is allowing him go scot free – just because that is the ‘socially acceptable judgement’. Does the Judge not have to be bold enough to make a change, for the better? In this case, she is as resigned to fate, as are the wife and the mistress…well, that was just my opinion 🙂
@ Quirky: Never seen BB, but now that you have mentioned it, am sure its worth a watch, if only to see how crappy it is! Regarding the ‘disconnect’, I am glad, QI, that we atleast, are on this side of the fence. Thank God for small mercies!
@ Dman: I’ve heard a lot about SKS, and really want to see it. After all that criticism on ‘brainless song and dance sequences’, I guess its best to watch such stuff. Atleast, they don’t pretend to be something they are not! But then, the music/dance reality shows are quite dramatised too 😉 I’ve seen episodes where contestants and judges squabble in public..to get the TPRs soaring! Sigh!
@ Hitchy: You watch History and Nat Geo? And we watch Cartoonito 😉 Will try out Sab TV today. I too hate these regressive Ekta Kapoor kind of serials. I don’t know how the rest of mankind (I mean, the masses in our country) laps it up!!
@ Yuva: ‘…happy with the verdict..’ – Were you serious or sarcastic 😉 ? And I didn’t get it.. you mean women (and not men) can commit adultery ? Wow! That’s news to me!!
She is not a social reformer.Look at her brief – her brief is to sort out the issues.She generally does give very sensible and practical solutions acceptable to both parties, in thi case one part wa sjust so shameless that there was little she could have actually done.They would hav been words which would not have even gone into his ears, forget getting hrough one and passing out of the other. It makes sense to kock some sense ino his head when there is a point of doing it, but this fellow was absolutely shameless and not even the slightest bit repentant.
I actually felt sorry for the two women – his wife and mistress
Hmm…now that is more food for thought. True…that fellow did not show a wee bit of remorse! It was probably, water off a duck’s back. I felt sorry too, for both women. They have both got a raw deal. And to think that this is the best ‘socially acceptable solution’!
Btw, Supps, what would your Judgement have been? Just curious 🙂
(Assuming ofcourse, that you can go BEYOND the UNWRITTEN LAW and existing mindset of our Ekta Kapoor-wale audience).
Its been amended now…for a longtime only a man cold be punished for the crime of adultery
Oh i forgot cartoon network, pogo, nickeldon, disney, jetix !!!!!!!!! how could i !!!!!!!
but off late Hriday has stopped i guess… thats why i forgot… he has got more into playing with his friends… hmmmm i just realised this now.. !!!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀
wow !!
She was just being pragmatic. He has to, and should be made to pay for both the families. The women should have taken a stand much earlier. The sanctity of a monogamous relationship in any case has been destroyed here
what is the right thing according to you?
To divorce puts the married woman in even worse situation..the man is grossly wronged in whatever he has done anyway
Not everybody can afford to maintain self respect or pride…if the wife takes a stand…is her family falling over itself to support her? i doubt it.
As long as the next meal is coming along, people try to manage with what they can get…or already have. Sad and not ok…but true
@ Hitchy: See! I reminded you of such interesting things…Pogo and Disney are the best methinks 😉 And ‘Hriday’ is such a beautiful name!! Please post a pic of him too.
@ Ritu: True..I am wondering why the the women could not just shrug him off, ESPECIALLY when he isn’t even supporting them financially?! He is a liability, not an asset, surely.
@ Aniruddha: I believe punitive measures are as important as reconciliatory ones!! This man has never supported either family! So they aren’t losing much by severing ties with him. ‘Divorce’ is still a term that attaches stigma to the person, atleast in India.
The problem is, we still don’t want to be ‘the cause of the marriage breaking up’, irrespective of the fact that there is nothing much left to salvage!!
Please do share your views on the judgement..I mean, about how the man should have been punished.
@ Arch: What can I say! Sigh! This is the state, I agree. just that I was hoping that a programme like this (with Ms.Bedi at the head) would so something to jolt the society into doing something right, even if it were a radical step!
Justice is seem to have been done
we all have had our prime time fun
the TRP have had their expected run
who cares aboout the mother or the son.
loads of pics in fb… !! i had posted a pic of him in my june post on his birthday on 4th june
A lot of women have a very unemotional idea of marriage. It’s like you lost a laptop, then you found it, won’t you be delighted 😦
I have a friend who knows her husband is having an affair, and when she first told me I assumed she was going to walk out of her marriage, but she showed me an article in some newspaper about how it’s the wife who is the luckiest in such situations… if an educated woman thinks this is being lucky then there is something terribly wrong with this society and culture.
I am not surprised that these women think this is justice… but it’s sad that Kiran Bedi is participating in this… maybe if she has to, then she could make sure the audience hears the truth about such situations too. About how the woman could have acted years ago, walked out with some self respect… how the man could go to jail for cheating and polygamy (amongst other things).
@ PRG: You hit the nail on the head.
@ Hitchy: Yep..hopping over to FB now 🙂
@ IHM: Absolutely! Ms.Bedi could have scared the wits out of that man, so as to pass a very serious message to the rest of his clan.
And yes, there IS something inherently wrong with the general mindset…I was truly appalled to see the ‘wife’ all smiles simply ‘to have HER MAN back!’.
In some ways, I think Western culture (or the lack of it, as we on this side of the world claim!) is better. 1- Atleast women are independent financially, and emotionally.
2- Being a Single Mom is NOT a stigma. People don’t whisper that ‘there must be something wrong with the woman’
3- And the woman does tell the man to buzz off (Note: ‘buzz’ replaced another 4-letter expletive 😉 ).
Btw, am thrilled to have a visit from you 🙂
[…] : Pallavi What : The true Bharatiya Naari @ Aap ki kachehri Spicy : The reality shows are the talk of the town these days and one of them is Aap ki Kacheri. […]
@ Blogadda Team: Thank you! Thank you so much. Absolutely ecstatic.
Btw, I do hope our mindset changes, for the better, over the years.
Yes,
Times are changing and the future looks scary! Relationships and love don’t seem to matter to people now. They are ok with it if your better half loves someone else. We have Reality Shows to glorify this which is sad!! The public are washing the dirty linen in public through the medium of reality shows and people are loving it.
I am not surprised that these women think this is justice… but it’s sad that Kiran Bedi is participating in this… maybe if she has to, then she could make sure the audience hears the truth about such situations too. Compeltely agree with IHM! She should be a role model and not at all this way.
We need to highlight this growing trend and try to make a difference.
Your post deserved to be picked 🙂
Thanks very much, Harish!!
I guess ‘love’ is never a term in many Indian marriages. Its simply a case of two people having to live together, and raise a family together.
So, women like these actually LIVE the traditional wedding vows…
‘I take you to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part’,
simply because they cannot imagine a respectable life outside their circle of ‘man, kitchen and children’.
Reality shows are indeed , as much about TRPs as they are about social issues!
Pal, Congrats on being picked by Blogadda. This post was fantastic! and totally totally deserved the honour!
firstly congrat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this “chinna veedu” thingie has been going on for so long in our state TN………… something which I absolutely hate……………..
even our dear CM is guilty of it……………
and yes, this was a shocker…………………………..
thats ridiculous..i mean the judgement!I agree with you wholeheartedly..the man doesnt even deserve a family in the first place!
seriously I’m so glad I dont watch this show!
btw,congratulations…hearty hearty congratulations,Pal for the blogadda recognition!you deserve every it of it.
tis is one jolt of a post 🙂
@ Smitha: Thank you so much! I am hardly a women’s lib person, so this was a different post, even by my standards 🙂 Glad you liked it, and glad also that I got to know you, albeit a little late 🙂
@ OG: Thank you, thambi. I totally agree…the chinna veedu concept is widely accepted in India, and is disgusting! The only good thing about our CM having two houses is, we get good amenities (water, roads, electricity) in two areas in Chennai, instead of just one 😉
@ Deeps: Ow! Got a start when I read your first words. But later realised you were referring to the judgement 😉 I am so glad we subscribe to the same views, Deeps. Initially, I felt like the odd man out about stating that the guy doesn’t deserve even one family! Thank you 🙂
Glad I don’t get or watch these channels! Did u hear about the latest show where couples live in a house with a baby to see if they can be good parents!! Crap on television just seems to get more crappier these days…
Congratulations for the “Spicy Saturday Pick”… and a well written post… as usual!
Crazy people, I tell you. All four of them !!! (including Kiran-supposed to be brilliant- Bedi )
Congrats for the award. This post deserved the honor ! Blog adda is doing a great job by recognising talent !
Congrats Pals
And yeah these shows are supposed to give the right message to people but sadly all shows do get the producers touch, which might mean tweaking things in order to suit general public’s interest. I guess once we start moving away from this mindset then only we will see definite improvement in our country’s future. In my opinion the judgement should have included both women and left the guy out in the lurch. He doesnt deserve either women but he should be responsible for the children and hence he should be paying maintenance for both of them. Thats my 2 cents worth….
*Apologies for the delayed response!*
@ SR: Nooo! True…the crap just gets worse. I did see an episode of ‘Wife Swap’ a couple of days back. Didn’t like that either!
@ Roshmi: Thanks so much 🙂
@ Vimmu: LOL at calling all four of them crazy. How did the engagement go? Waiting to read all about it, assuming ofcourse that you will write about it 🙂
@ MR: What a pleasant surprise to see you here! Thank you buddy 🙂 Reality shows are turning into Reel-ity shows. Reg. leaving the man in the lurch, all I can say is, I echo the same sentiments!
Kiran bedi is slowly loosing it and I convinced about this when she did a fairness cream ad…I was appalled!! So am not surprised at this crap she is doling out…
That’s news!! Why did she ever lower her own standards by doing that?! That is terribly disappointing.
It sure is for someone of her stature. I had huge respect till that advertisement. Check this out http://www.thehindu.com/2009/03/21/stories/2009032160540500.htm
This was followe by an ad which I think as been pulled of now, haven’t seen it in a long time.
I’ve seen this show (several episodes) & I find most of the judgements skewed. Usually Kiran Bedi focusses on the children’s future or the women’s. I guess thats Indian Tv for u .. I agree with u though – that man got let off too easily.. !!!
Ridiculous! As u said, the fella hs to be left to live life on his own and lose all the adv of living with a family. He shud nt be allowed to be a husband, father anymore .. he does nt deserve it @ all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder why Kiran bedi is mainly worried abt only maintenance charges or stuff like that! Can’t believe its ‘Kiran Bedi’! Where did something called self respect go??????
N congrats Pal! Really thoughtful post 🙂
Glad it made it to ‘Spicy Saturday Picks’ 🙂
@ Lostworld: Thank you so much, for visiting, and leaving your feedback. This was the only show I had seen, and I don’t think I will be watching this again!
@ Swaram: Glad you think the same. Even I was wondering why she wasn’t being more tough on him. It looked more like a school teacher telling a student off, and the student parroting an apology, while merrily laughing behind her back. Thank you Swaram 🙂
Pallu, Kiran Bedi of all people. You know some people lose respect when they come into the limelight a little too much. Kiran Bedi and Mr. Bachchan are two specimens.
Sometime back Kiran Bedi was endorsing a face cream which was of course for “clear” face. I also watched an online episode of this show long back and she told the wife that her husband strayed because of her bickering or something like that.
Oh! also congratulations on the Saturday pick! 🙂
You’re right Soli (as always :-)). Some people really lose it when they are propelled into the media. And I am so fed up of seeing the Bacchhan family everywhere I go! (I don’t mean, literally, ofcourse 😉 )
Such men really need a kick at their back
Absolutely! They think they are the Lord and Master of the world. Blame their parents for such bad upbringing!
We got to really appreciate the work done, very informative! keep it up.