Beauty for the Beasts


Whether people call you Beauty or the Beast, and irrespective of your colour, age and proportions, here are some very simple, generic tips to look great and feel wonderful, day after day.

 

Rule # 1 – Early to bed…

First things first – Wake up at the first ring of the alarm clock. Sit up straight, and stretch out your right hand. Slam the alarm down, and GO BACK TO BED. There is nothing more refreshing than a good night’s sleep. Sleep as long as you can…or until someone rings your door bell, or your child cries, or your MIL bangs the door. Never ever sacrifice on your sleep!

 

Rule # 2 – Eyes that intoxicate!

Slice a fresh cucumber into thin rings. Lean back on a comfortable lounge; grab an I-Pod. When you are ready to begin, add some salt and pepper. (Eh? Why are you staring?) Add some salt and pepper to the cucumber rings and pop them into your mouth one at a time. Close your eyes and relish every bite.

 

Rule # 3 – Facial Ritual

Take equal portions of melon, banana and pear. Chop into cubes, add a pinch of sugar and salt, and run it in the mixer. Have you got a nice concoction of a lovely pastel shade? Now take a deep breath, and drink it, sip by sip. Yummmmy! Feeling radiant already?

 

Rule # 4 – Hair Care!

Take 1 egg for short hair, and 2 eggs for long hair. Crack the egg(s) gently on the side of a bowl. Add some oil and a tiny pinch of lemon. Whisk until it becomes frothy. Wash your hair like you would normally do. When your hair is still damp, get ready for the eggs ritual. Quickly chop some onions and tomatoes, add to the eggs, and spread it onto a hot pan. Once fully cooked, enjoy a hearty breakfast of egg-burji or omelette or however you like it. You walk out of your door, confident and happy, ready to take on the world!

 

Rule # 5 – Diet and the dreaded E-word

Watch your diet. Eat EXACTLY one dry chapati with salad. Before and after meals 😉 Just kidding. I intensely dislike people advising you to restrict your food intake to one roti or 2 small idlis. That’s rubbish. Eat what you like, in moderation. For what is life devoid of ice-creams and drinks. But absolutely no escape from that dreaded E-word. The only lifeboat for a happy foodie. Walk to work, climb stairs, or just imitate your toddler, if you have one (or feel free to borrow mine)! You just have to Exercise.

So, you see, these are the daily rituals will keep you stress-free and happy!

And that, my friends, is the key to everlasting beauty.

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28 thoughts on “Beauty for the Beasts

  1. I totally agree with your last line and the tips – as usual – very funny and extremely effective!! 😀

    Oh and don’t get me started on the whole “fair is beautiful” debate! I can rant for hours!! 😀

  2. Now, I really liked what you wrote in those lines- I mean, its-in-the-eyes-of-beholder thing…
    Consoled me, actually. 🙂
    Good post.
    Cheers!

  3. my kinda beauty secrets… 🙂

    totally agree to all of the points.. and especially the last one.. Happiness makes you radient.

    happy inside.. beautiful outside.. 🙂

  4. He he… another hilarious one… I am able to follow the Rule #1 nowadays, I don’t use alarm anymore … thanks to my boss who worries about the work and not “time-in” and “time-out”…
    Cheers

  5. Pixu- Thanks darl, for re-reading (‘cos this one was so similar to my earlier one) and leaving your lovely comments. I know…I second and third and fourth you on the ‘fairness and beauty’ stuff.

    Mon- Thank you! Wow..you’ve moved too! Okie, will update my blogroll right away.

    Rameez- Thanks for visiting 🙂 Am glad you found a bit of solace reading this. Take care!

    Oorja- Totally agree…happiness is most most important!!

    Dmanji- Thank you very much 🙂 Wow, what a nice boss. Or is he trying to save work-space 😉 Is he the same guy who featured in your Canteen blog?

  6. SPW- Thank you…and I will look fwd to your post on stereotypes…please do write it!

    AGG- He he…nice summary there 😉 Thanks 🙂

  7. Did you try Beer yet for your hair? 😉

    “And when you are happy, your eyes twinkle. Your face glows. You are radiant.
    And that, my friends, is the key to everlasting beauty.”

    You got it, Pallu. Now I need to shed couple of those lbs to have my glow back. Now the glow is hidden in layers of fat. 😀

  8. loved all the tips 🙂
    specially the add salt and pepper one 😀

    fair and beautiful??
    *sigh*
    just makes me mad…so wont go there 🙂

    back to happy, happy thoughts 🙂

    the last lines said it !
    ((hugs))

  9. @Pal Not really Canteen Post guy was our ‘BIG BOSS’ this is ‘my’ Boss :), its a long way up the ladder to have the CEO as my Boss 😉

  10. Soli- Beer for Hair!! Wow…that sounds cooool!! Must try it sometime. Though, I do like Cider better 😉 And thanks for liking the new template.

    Indy- He he..thanks buddy!

    Dmanji- Oh..sorry…though I am sure u’ll get there soon enough!

  11. I agree entirely on matters of extended sleep
    then give the maid the go and do the mop and sweep
    if you still have time you can run,hop,skip,jump and leap
    it is sure to give you beauty that is more than skin deep

  12. Hey… I agree you should feel good about yourself rather than thinking what the others think. It should not be about your weight or waist it should be about your health. I try doing rule 1,2,3 and 5… can’t really do anything much about the 4th one though (should have read this earlier) 🙂 but you know what I feel better this way and i think that is all what matters…
    First time here, I hope I didn’t say a bit to much…

  13. PRG – Another little gem from you. I totally agree…my mum and grandma still do their work all by themselves and I think it really is fantastic!

    Mukund – Thank you so much for visiting, and for that hilarious little line on Rule 4 😉 Still, do try it – better late than never, right?

  14. and did u remove that story of a mom who rejected hers son choice of girl on the grounds of caste! I remember reading here???

    Or did I imagine reading!!!!

  15. Hilarious!!

    Rule#1 never happens for me the way you say it. I never hear the alarm ring (hubby does). We never connected the door bell of our house(we knock nobs which is rare anyways), no live-in MIL…

    with the rest in absolute agreement.
    Me gonna come back and back and …..

  16. Guys n Girls,
    I am so sorry for the delay in responding to your wonderful feedback. Here I go….

    Barath- He he he, you must do so! Enjoy life 🙂 And about the other story you mentioned, I did remove it because it was submitted elsewhere, but I am awfully grateful that it left a mark on you!!

    SpontaneousMini- Aren’t you one lucky girl 😉 ? That is so cool…not having to work hard at Rule # 1. Glad you liked the rest 🙂 And please do drop by again..and again!!

  17. I can’t simply stop laughing at the tips 🙂 I am going to try each one of them; and if they don’t work at the end of say one month, I am going to come back and throw egg at you!

    Hee hee 🙂 Do try and let me know in a week 🙂

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