Categories
Short story

Outfits and insights

There I was, seated daintily in my new black outfit, accessorized with the perfect chandelier earrings, and waiting to be summoned for the crowning event! The dental crown, I mean.

When, I noticed someone sauntering down the aisle. If you asked me, he could have passed off for Ben Affleck! I might have stared at him a moment too long, for his gaze met mine. I quickly ducked behind my magazine.

When I finally summoned the courage to look up… “Nice weather!” came a wonderful baritone voice. Trying in vain to close the mouth that had fallen open, I smiled back at the handsome stranger, wondering if it was my new outfit that had done the trick.

Within a few minutes of our conversation, I was convinced he was Mr.Congeniality. As I drowned into his deep brown eyes, something extraordinary happened. Something that had never happened before. He popped a question! A question that made me all flushed and embarassed at the same time.¬† He lowered his head slightly, cleared his throat, and whispered: ‘I know this is all too soon. But I’d love…’

‘Huh?!’ I gaped, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

‘…I’d love…to ask you…to participate in our brand new weight-loss programme’, he continued, thrusting a brochure into my hands.

‘Huh?’ I repeated. Braving the rebellious pricking sensation in my eyes, I accepted the brochure and filled out the ‘Contact me now!’ section, trembling in complete silence.

After what seemed ages, I had answered all of the inane questions (‘Do you exercise? What lifestyle changes are you planning? Blah.. blah..).

As I handed him the form, our fingers did not brush. There was no delightful tinkling of bells. He stuffed the papers back into his folder without so much as a nod.

Finally, he looked up at me, and said, ‘Thank you, Madame’. I didn’t bother with a reply. Then, with an unmistakeable twinkle in his eyes, added, ‘Beautiful earrings, if I may say so!’

Categories
Humour

On dieting

Today, as I solemnly complete the 7th and final day of the well-known GM Diet, I am thrilled to find that I weigh a few kilos lesser than I did earlier. Therefore, I am going to celebrate this achievement.

‘Hello? Is that Pizza Hut? One Veggie Supreme with extra cheese, please’.