The ‘first-night’ dialogue


‘Shhh…What are you doing?’
‘Nothing unusual…considering it is our first night!’
‘This is against the law. I mean, custom!’
‘Law? Custom? What rubbish! You got to respect basic instinct, honey.
She giggles.

‘I’m so tired, Pavan. Greeting those thousand guests with a plastic smile! Ugh..my jaws are stiff!’
‘Okay…but I hope you aren’t too tired to…’
‘To…??’
‘To…ahem…you know…’

‘Pavan, stop that!’
‘Stop what? Doesn’t everybody do this? I mean, am I infringing on someone’s rights here? Is this violation of the law?’
‘No…but…’
‘No BUTs, this is a perfectly natural reaction..a raw necessity, if I may say so!’

‘Think of this – what if someone hears? There is, but a thin wall between our bedroom and your parents’.
‘Right! And they’re probably doing the same thing.’
‘PAAVVVVAN!!’
He smirks.

‘Pavan, you really need to stop now.’
‘You didn’t mind before we got married!
‘That was different. It was the start of our relationship…everything you said/did was exciting/amusing’.
‘So What’s changed now?’
‘Nothing..its just rather uncivil’

‘What the heck, Malathi? This is getting too far. I mean, this is all your parents’ fault.’
‘Whaaat?’

‘Yeah, they set the menu for our wedding function! They ordered all those puris and biriyani and gulab-jamoons and ice-creams! They are the cause for my eating too much and having this stomach upset.’

‘That’s enough, Pavan. You really must stop farting now, or all you’ll get is the couch! Good night.’

Defeated and deflated (well, literally!), Pavan sulks away into slumber.

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20 thoughts on “The ‘first-night’ dialogue

  1. *Smirk smirk smirk* and ROTFLOL!!! *hic* *breathless*

    Poor Pavan… and LOL, what a name for the condition he had at that moment!

    Cant find other words, than to tell you this one is as good as it gets.. 🙂 The post, I mean, not the first night :P!!!

  2. LOL!!

    Very funny and extremely well written too!! 😀

    and yea, to repeat what Shweta has said – how do you come up with ideas like this?! 😉

  3. Batul- THanks…the way marriage changes things!! Sigh!

    Usha- LOL at the ‘good as it gets’. Somebody’s being naughty 😉

    Shweta & Pix- Glad you liked it. This was actually inspired by an old Santa Banta joke I came across last Oct….will look up the link for you soon. Oh, and this was also for a writing exercise on Shakespeare & Co. (its on Ryze network, in case you are interested).

    Roops- Now your pun was intended, buddy ;-)))

  4. Lol! I was waiting for the punch line…and sure enough you had me splitting with laughter…U are great at this!

    And to think the hubby was named ‘Pawvaan’ …:))

    You have a flair for writing…and you know it…else u wldnt dare mess with the ‘first night’!:)

  5. Yash- You’re just being very nice to me 🙂 But am really glad you got the pun on the name ‘Pavan’. Thank you 🙂

    Ganga- Thanks so much, and glad you like the new look. The black colour was too harsh on the eyes, this one seems more pleasant, no?

  6. That ws hilarious!!! How come u come up with such a one??? STill ROTFL….

    Actually i was sitting and reading that from my library Comp centre! Blurted out laughing n everyone turned lloking at the source!!!!

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