Short story

Cruel Intention

Mohit had not imagined performing such an act, even in his wildest dream ! He belonged to a very cultured family who knew the value of life, and how cruel it was to kill. But he had no choice. He was determined to do it that very night. It was a kind of retribution… to the fate his late father, the respectable Barrister Mr.Vikas Jain had to endure. “Baba didn’t deserve such a death…I will teach them a lesson…that blood-thirsty gang”, he thought angrily.

Even Sanjay, Mohit’s elder brother was not taken into confidence. There was always an innocence radiating from Mohit’s countenance, and naturally, he was under no suspicion, when he went to the attic that morning, and hid it in the secret spot. He had planned his moves carefully, and for a very long time now.

The old grandfather’s clock, now almost a collector’s item, struck six. The sun was setting, and darkness crept up stealthily, to envelope this bustling little town. Sanjay had just returned from work. A visibly nervous Mohit noisily slurped his tea, sitting crouched in a corner of the house. They didn’t exchange a word. They were always known to be thick friends, and at times, had even stood up to their strict father, defending each other in their pranks. Sanjay looked at Mohit closely, then quietly picked up the newspaper. It was almost as if Sanjay knew Mohit’s plan, and was saying “Don’t do it…”.

But Mohit had waited long enough…too long infact. He had to do this, before any more members of his family could be attacked by this heartless gang. They were hiding in every nook and corner of the town. Nobody was safe, even in the precincts of their own cosy homes. It was a common sight now, to see shutters pulled down early, windows closed before nightfall, and people sitting on high alert, ready to protect themselves, in case of an attack.

Shrewd businessmen were, of course, trying to make hay. Producing and marketing, weapons of destruction, of self-sustenance. The late barrister had, however, always believed in non-violence, and his sons were bound to follow his path. At least while he was alive. “But not any longer ! I am not a killer…but I’m not a saint either. I have to do this…this was my unspoken promise to Baba”, Mohit thought silently.

As night set in, the family finished their dinner and retired to bed. This was the moment Mohit had been waiting for. He quickly climbed up the rickety stairs and went into the attic. Nobody had noticed. Everything was going as planned. He picked it up, hid it behind his back, and walked down again. To his surprise, Sanjay was sitting on the sofa, watching TV. “Damn…how do I do it now ?!”, worried Mohit.

“Sanjay…you should sleep now..don’t you have a meeting tomorrow morning ?”, called Shikha.

Sanjay looked up, sighed and turned the volume down in a resigned manner. “Coming, Shikha”, he called out. He gave one final, glance at Mohit …”Don’t do it, don’t”. And left the room, shutting the door behind him. “Click”. Sanjay had bolted his door.

This was the moment. Mohit was left by himself. But he wasn’t alone. He felt their presence. He knew they could enter any house, any time they wanted. No walls, no locks could stop them. He knew, they were waiting to attack him too. The way they had destroyed Baba. “There’s no better chance”, he thought, and with a steely resolve, tightened his grip over the weapon hidden behind his back. He quickly fished out the match box from the cupboard, and in a flash of a second, did it. He was sweating profusely. “Thank God, nobody noticed..they might hate me today, but they will thank me for this tomorrow”.

Mohit was drained, with the mental exertion of the long day. He summoned the vestiges of his energy and hid the weapon in the darkest corner of the grandfather’s clock. “Just in case I need to attack , or defend anytime again” !

As Mohit walked out of the room, he realised the TV was still on. He took the remote to turn it off. The last advertisement on the TV was going on…”Kachua Jalao, Machar Bhagao”.


(We hope you liked it…

-Samba and Pallavi)

9 replies on “Cruel Intention”

Hi. I enjoyed the suspense build up, infact enjoyed it so much so that realising it was all about mosquitoes was a bit of a let down. Just wondering why the moral dilemma, if mosquitoes were the only victims of this murder? Or did I miss something?

I’ve gathered that you are not the author of this piece….

Hi Preeti,
Thanks a ton, for your feedback. Yes, this was more for the suspense, rather than an actual moral dilemma. However, it can also be interpreted as simply being non-violent.. for instance, as in the case of Jains, who do not even tread over ants, or do not breathe in insects.

Hey Pallavi..

Liked the build up , but had to re-read to get the mosquitoes part :D…

One question , why was Rhea not a part of the story after the first half..?

Hi Pavithra,
Thank u 🙂 Abt. Rhea, she’ll appear in the sequel 😉

Thanks Pavithra. I edited this , to leave Rhea out until the sequel is written, much against the wishes of people who read the first !! 🙂

And thanks Preeti, I did edit this to also mention that the late father was one Mr.Jain 🙂

Feedback received on Caferati network:

* Varun Rajagopalan: Liked it?? I loved it, Samba and Pallavi!
This is Manoj Shyamalan meets Wodehouse! You had us going till the very end. The internal conflict, the reason, everything was setting me up for a very violent ending.
The term ‘lit it’ put e in thought, but then I though it may have been one of them crude bombs they make in places like Bellary!
Clap Clap Clap!

* Venugopal Kartha: You have a good writing style. But the content is very weak and hollow

* Priyanka Khot: Thrilling and as you intended.. very funny!!!

* Tejas: HI,
That was really good. I was thinking all sorts of really cruel thoughts of violence and death. It fooled me for sure. You could build up the suspense a little bit more if you like to make the end more effective.

Feedback received on Shakespeare and Co. of writers:

Pragya Thakur:Liked for sure!
But…was it really about blood thirsty mosquitoes and baba’s policy of non-violence even extended to mosquitoes? How did Baba really die?
Right away I was reminded of the Beatles song – The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill 🙂

Rehana Ali: thought it was going to be an account of a gruesome gang war and revenge… was relieved it was just a war against mosquitoes…
Nice build up, you kept the suspense alive till the end 🙂
You know the class 9 bio book has a chapter ‘Enemies Number 1 and 2’ and they are none other than the dreaded Anopheles Mosquito and the Housefly. The mosquito is a carrier not just for Malaria but also for Filaria, Dengue and Chikangunya 😦

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