‘In silent sufferance’ – Plane and simple

2009 October 26

‘In silent sufferance” is the fortnightly theme on S&Co. and this is my contribution.

Eleven long hours its been,
Since the shores of my homeland seen

The inflight music, an incessant drone
Someone, lend me an ear-phone!

I stretch, I bend, and wince and moan,
Muffled sounds, I piteously groan

I turn to my left, and then to my right,
Arrrgh! This is one horrible night!

Until finally, with valour I stare
At the pot-bellied man, who polished his fare!

He looks at me, lets a toothy smile,
Phew! That gust of wind smells vile!!

The aloo-tikki has done its job
That awful mooli on the hob!

With a happy ‘Burrrrp’, he rubs his tummy
Winks at me, and asks ‘Some rummy?’

I weakly smile, pretend I’m homesick
In unstated misery, I see my watch tick

When? Oh when..will this journey end
Oh! Run for cover! He’s going to bend!

How I wish I could summon the crew
And have thrown this monster, into the loo!

Or push him out of the aircraft? Don’t!!
I would if I could, but I can’t so I won’t!

Please let me know what you think. I think it needs a lot of re-work. Editing, Tweaking, whatever. Suggestions/critique eagerly sought :-)

30 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 October 26
    Monika permalink

    me first!!! wow :D

  2. 2009 October 26
    Monika permalink

    ROFL too good pal

    Me: First ofcourse, Mon :-) Glad you liked it!

  3. 2009 October 26

    Lolzzz Good one :-)

    Me: Thank you Prats :-)

  4. 2009 October 26

    Good one Pal!
    You know right? I’m your biggest fan when it comes to your poetry and short stories!! :) :)

    Me: Pixu, you are a little darling! Seriously! thank you :-) So glad we are friends!

  5. 2009 October 26

    So you were the pretty one sitting on my right
    I thought you looked a little bit dazed and uptight
    reason I gave you that toothy smile to say it’s alright
    now that you’ve said what you thought I feel contrite.

    Pallavi, just beautiful. Perfect! :)

    Me: Thank you, PRG, for that lovely verse! So now I know which flights I must avoid ;-)

  6. 2009 October 26

    I didn’t know that I made you so annoyed
    so as to plan what flights you should avoid
    you have completely my self esteem destroyed
    I am reduced to something less than an android. :(

    Me: LOL! Wish I could come up with a 4-liner, or even a 2-liner to respond to that!

  7. 2009 October 26

    before I say nething … what is S & Co. ??

    Me: Ooops..sorry, should have made that clearer. Its an informal writer’s forum called Shakespeare and Co, hosted on Ryze network. And you must see the quality of writing there…mind-blowing! I feel intimidated to even post a comment on their work!

  8. 2009 October 26

    heyyy, thats a funny poem ! Wish most of the poems are like this — understand-able ;)

    Me: Oh no! Is this understandable? Then its not a poem at all :-) :-)

  9. 2009 October 27

    ROFL :D Nice work, Pal. Humour in verse, not an easy job that. esp liked the line “Oh! Run for cover! He’s going to bend!” :D

    Me: Glad you liked it, Dreamer! Thank u so much :-)

  10. 2009 October 27

    :) LOL :lol:
    I love rhymes that are fun…!!
    Yeah, each and every one :)

    Mooli parathas have a bad name
    Rajma and Chole have similar fame?
    But the paranthas are yum
    Superb slurrrrpy ekdum!!
    Only when the finger licking is done :lol:
    Like musical pipes and rolling drum
    Every morsel relished better than whiskey or rum
    Wants to announce it’s presence from the tum ;)
    Ah then the real celebrations begin!
    Why does good taste,
    On the way to becoming a waste
    Feel like such a sin :twisted:
    Pass another one please,
    Add some gobhi and green peas :)

    Me: LOL! Wow! Did you write that in a jiffy? That’s cool, IHM!

  11. 2009 October 27

    Ha..ha.. good one!

    Me: Thanku Soli :-)

  12. 2009 October 27
    Swaram permalink

    LOL :lol: Gud one Pal :)

    Me: LOL :-) Once, there was this lady on the flight, and every time she opened her mouth, I would want to die!!

  13. 2009 October 27
    nisha permalink

    simply sooperb pals…

    Me: Nish, thankuuuuu :-)

  14. 2009 October 27

    This is hillarious !!! :lol:

    Me: He he, thank you. Your earlier comment was equally funny ;-)

  15. 2009 October 27

    I love to read poetry… but am bad at being a critique :)

    Me: And I don’t even like poetry. I like rhymes and fast-paced poems, though, but simply cannot stand what they call ‘free verse’. :-)

  16. 2009 October 27

    Thanks for visiting my blog :)

    The poem dint look like one written based on a theme.. It was so lively and had a natural flow. Congratulations :)

    Me: Thank you for returning the visit, G3. Will be regular on your blog hereafter :-) And thank you very much for your words of appreciation :-)

  17. 2009 October 27

    adutha TR udhayamaagitaanga pola :D
    (not sure if u know tamil..next TR on the rising :D cha..major sundarrajan mathiri aidichi :) )

    is this one wrote on a theme!! 2 gud

    Me: Che! Poyium poyium TRaaa? Yes, this is on a theme :-)

    • 2009 October 28

      enga thaanai thalaivar TRku ennaga kuraichal…agila ulaga TR rasigarmanram mumbai kilai saarbaaga ithai naan vanmaiyaaga aatchebikiren

      Me: LOL :-) :-) No comments ;-)

    • 2009 November 3

      Pal, u know tamil ?????

  18. 2009 October 27

    its superb, funny and light Pals… I liked it :) :)

    Me: Thanku very very much, Kanagu :-)

  19. 2009 October 28
    dmanji permalink

    Seeing a poem I got serious and then you turned it into Laugh riot … :D easier to read a humorous poem ….

    Me: Thank you so much, Dman. I don’t like serious stuff at all :-)

  20. 2009 October 29

    hilarious,Pal!laughed my heart out :)

    Me: Thank you verry much, Deeps!

  21. 2009 October 29

    hohohoh :P superb hillarious

    Me: Oh thank you :-) And, thank you also, for all those lovely comments!

  22. 2009 October 30

    I like the rhyme maintained through out the prose, I know its tough to find similar sounding words fitting to the requirement

    Me: Thank you PS. You bet, it is :-)

  23. 2009 October 31

    Hi Pals,

    You have been awarded:

    http://kanaguonline.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/awards-time/

    Me: Hey, thank you!! Just checked out your blog and will be back to collect the awards :-)

  24. 2009 November 2

    Dont doubt, Pal – This poem is indeed a very gud one !!!

    BTW, how have u been ??? Its been a long time in Bloggy world, for me. Just finished reading all your blogs, which I missed here. Belated Happy Birthday to your little Aladin FAN !!!! The TAG was interesting and the Dentist episode was super funny !!!! Did u go for the next appt ??? Pl make sure they do the right tooth, this time.

    Me: Thank you for missing me, Ums! I’ve been away too, and just managed to respond to all these lovely comments!

  25. 2009 November 3

    Wow that is some gas-tronomical ass-ault

    Me: Heee haaaaawwww! Ritu, you amaze one by your word-play!!

  26. 2009 November 3

    Too good!

    btw Congratulations! 6th position @ the ‘Indiblogger of the Month’! Not bad at all :)

    • 2009 November 3

      Thank u, Rosh! Hey, how did u find out the Indiblogger results? 6th ? Thank you for letting me know. And thanks to all my friends who voted :-)

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS