The outsider (55-er)
2009 June 13
‘Take her on our vacation?? You crazy?’, she exploded.
He remained silent.
That night. He was stretched carelessly on the mat. Near her. Sometimes talking. Sometimes laughing. Watching their favourite show.
She swallowed hard.
Realising, that mother and son shared a bond so deep, that she herself was yet to fathom, in her year-old marriage!
LOL, Im already scared of wedding. You guys are being catalysts !!
Btw, Im blogrolling you.
Eek.
ha ha!!!!
just so perfect!!
:) I imdtly thought of them when I read this!! Thankfully The G has grown up over the years!! 
My in-laws insist that The G was a complete “I want my mommy” kinda kid! And they keep repeating the story a million and fifty times!!
I see your 55-er thingy is just getting better and better..
Mamma’s boys..
very realistic.. 55ers are so great..
I wonder if he ever realized she had a similar deep bond with HER mother
Seriously nice.
Ahem…Mamma’s boy.
Actually I have heard couple of mothers who are proud of the fact that their sons are Mamma’s boys and that they need their mom for everything. But later the same moms mock at the son and call them henpecked.
@Pallu: Have you enabled comment threading?
Soli – Finally enabled comment threading
Lemme see if this works now!
It does! It does!
@ Vimmu- Scared of wedding? I don’t believe that! Its like an adventure. You win some rounds and lose most others. but altogether its quite a blessed feeling! U ought to try it
And thanks a lot for the blogrolling honour…most grateful 
@ Spamwarrior- Owww…sad you didn’t like this. Or maybe you meant something else?
@ Piper- In all honesty, my lil one is quite a Mamma’s boy! And I am so glad about it
He he he! Thanks for your compliment, dear buddy! And I can’t say how glad it is to see u back!!! Hugs to you.
@ Oorja- Mamma’s boy indeed, but being a Mamma myself, I have a vague feeling I am beginning to understand the bond now
@ Ally- Good to see u back too! Its a fair point…her relationship with her mother. On a generic note, I guess (Indian) men are a little chauvinistic.. they do not realise that there is life beyond their immediate family circle. But I have been quite fortunate in this regard, as most of the men I’ve known are rather sane, atleast in this aspect
@ Solilo- I really need to re-work this particular post, I think. Because I didn’t quite mean to berate the guy as ‘Mamma’s boy’.I was just trying to explore various relationships without (much) prejudice.
But yes, I do agree with you when you say that the same Moms who enjoyed the limelight over the growing years of the child, take every opportunity to tease the poor guys as Joru Ka Gulaam. Its so unfair. But it must really arise from their sense of insecurity.. of needing to suddenly share their space with someone who will eventually take over that precious son’s life. Hmmm..marriage is a complicated thing!
@ Vimmu – Hope you aren’t reading this far
@ Sol again- What a brainy idea…I didn’t think of it earlier…will check out Settings or FAQs now to do this comment threading business. Makes blogging life so much more organized!
Thanks for blogrolling me too. BUT WHY IS MY NAME SPELT THAT WAY ????? Grrrrrr……
LOL
esp. @ I’m a Mama too
Seriously, being a mother of a boy really provided me with a “very different” perspective :-/
@ Vimmu- Your Switcheroo post made a lasting impression on me, you see. Therefore the Vimmu-la. Changed it back now, for your sake!
@ Shankari- Same pinch
(like we used to say when we were at school)
lol!!
Pal what a 55er!
the truth laid bare?
at least in some cases for sure .. good one !!
Thanks, Indygirl.
Like Jack Nicholson says ‘You can’t handle the truth’.
Well, in this case, the ‘you’ is any bahu…new or old. And the sooner she realises this, the better for everybody…especially herself!
Lol!
So true in some cases!!
But, it’s difficult for a couple to adjust to one another in such cases…
But, great 55-er though!
It is, Pix, but I think people learn to let go in love
Thanks girl, for your appreciation!
Oh my god! That poor girl is like a third person in their relationship!
Hit the nail on the head, Shilpa. And that’s why she is ‘The outsider’ !
Oh Bahu tread carefully in a relation
especially between a mother and her son
for it can mean a life that can threaten
or be one that is filled with loads of fun.
PRG – Interesting…how its the Bahu who has to be cautioned and not the Saas. Indian tradition ?!!
Wife thinks MOmILaw is outlawed but when she become mom thinks otherwise.
poor men we are confused.
On that, I have to second you, Yuva! Perspectives change when one changes from a Bahu to a Mom, and then into a Saas herself.
But then, men are very conveniently confused
and all do is simply be politically correct! Why is supporting the mom classified as being ‘Mamma’s boy’ and supporting the wife branded as ‘Henpecked’?
Ever wondered why there is hardly any conflict between a father-in-law and son-in-law? Its because the FILs back off once their little girl is married. They maintain a respectable distance. So there is no need for the girl to take sides. And even if there is, she mostly supports the husband (and she is expected to!) and nobody calls her ‘Hubby ki gulaam’.
Indian customs are sometimes queer and one-sided, don’t you think?
Hey,
Bloghopped here from IB.
A nice place and the stories are coool…
Hi WIN!
Thanks for dropping by and for your appreciation
Cheers..Pal
Nice effort Pallo
I’m better off not writing anything now..else I’d end up writing infinite paragraphs. Sigh.
Oh dear…all I can give u is a nice big virtual hug!! Take care and post something soon!
Good one, as usual, Pal. Many moms in India are indeed proud that their sons are mamma’s boys. Being mom to a boy, I can say with conviction, I would want my son to be an individual and to be able to make choices for himself.
Yay! Atta girl! Now I’m going to preserve this comment of yours and send it to your DIL two decades from now
Completely agree with Mystic Margarita. I’m going to be very careful and will make sure I have more interests in my life at that point of time, than meddle in my son’s life.
Cool Urmi. Am gonna send this to Samarth too after say twenty years. Btw, what do you think will happen 20 years from now? We would all be ‘old hags’?!! My God, what a scary thought.
Good one Pal. Something that has puzzled me all along. Why are Indians so ok with Mamma’s boys but not with so-called Henpecked Husbands?? I mean what the hell is the difference?? Beats me. In the end, aren’t both the same??!! But in India it is alright to be a Mamma’s boy!! *snigger snigger snigger* I HATE Mamma’s boys. Period.
Beats me too, Shail! I think its got a lot to do with the Ladki being ‘Paraya Dhan’. Its all crap, I agree, but this is probably what lays the foundation for MILs getting to control the househild until she can’t physically cope! And for DILs to have to learn to adjust into their new life. ‘Going nuclear’ is again a vice, as is being hen-pecked. The only virtue is for a Man to continue being the tame Mamma’s boy that he was. That’s our Indian outlook, isn’t it?!!
Ooops. I think DIL feels this deeply! My boys are like that too. What tremendous insight!
Ouchie! I think every DIL feels the same way. So long as DIL and MIL respect each other’s space, I think life is still quite a joyous occasion
Pals, you handle these mom-son-dil matters with a beautifully sensitive empathy
And yes, i think the bottom line is that as people move through life and experiences, perspectives change….so probably it’s best to chuck stereotypes, be open to change and enjoy the whole journey from being a bahu to being a saas and beyond
Thanks a lot, Ganga. And yes, it is best to keep evolving into better persons. But most people just end up whining about all that isn’t there, instead of appreciating all that is! I do hope we make better Saas-s.